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10-06-03, 02:01 PM | #1 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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~The Devils PlayGround~
IP:
Surrounded by darkness Runnin' along with images of the heartless
Stories written but plotless Impossible for souls to be spotless Talkless Or no maybe Im juss outta breath weezin' Tryin' my best to hold my sneeze in Wishin' I didn't believe in This season Eternal flames Everlastin' elements of pain Skies rain flames Sendin' devilish epics toward the brain Im prayin' Sayin' to God My thoughts in prayer Im scared to speak Goin' for the long shot What? I can't hear Im empaired Im weak This lair is deep Fell in it a while ago And never stopped fallin' I used to cry out for help No one answered I stopped callin' Heart stallin' Skippin' a beat Maybe outta excitement More likely fear This burden I don't wanna bear But fucc it Im already here Or there Wherever Im at I juss wish I could run away From my dreams But without nightmares It take the fun away But hey Im not complainin' Well then again yes I am See the stress in my hand? Don't push me to get over it Im tryin' the best I can But this wasn't the plan Hit and run games Satans playin' with me Im outnumbered by devilish angels That shatter my hopes swiftly Runnin' quickly But every door opens to another long journey Im yearing to extinguish these flames Im tired of burning Tossin' and turning Cuz everywhere I look I see Lucifer's image Sayin' he won't let me out easily But Im feelin' too hopeless to win it I finally cross the line to the finish Filled with faith I seem to win But tears are spilled when I get up and awake to the same dream again |
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10-06-03, 02:46 PM | #2 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
Uppin' real quick before I bounce...
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10-06-03, 08:00 PM | #3 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
Uppin cuz this is gettin' slept on like a mutha...Peace
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10-06-03, 08:21 PM | #4 | ||
Banned for being stupid
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IP:
i thought that was a tight post dude. i was feelin the structure and internal rhymes, along wit the wordplay and vocab. the content and topic were both original, and overall i thought that was a pretty damn good post, keep droppin man, that was tight.
peace...... |
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10-06-03, 08:25 PM | #5 | |
Guest
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IP:
really liked this piece man
imagery was really good...u turned a played topic into something different and a unique portrayal of your story some sandout lines as well.... flow was solid thruout...all complimented each other well and sme of the sentences were worded perfectly 'Skies rain flames Sendin' devilish epics toward the brain I used to cry out for help No one answered I stopped callin' dope.. really well constructed piece...the ender was class as well props |
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10-06-03, 09:10 PM | #6 | ||
Retired.
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IP:
This was nice...
Imagery was on point... Flow was aight... Nice vocab... And you brought out a story really well Nice |
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10-06-03, 09:13 PM | #7 | |
Banned
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IP:
very, very nice. I'm speechless
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10-06-03, 09:17 PM | #8 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
I wonder if ^he actually read it...LoL...THanks for the replies everyone...
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10-06-03, 09:25 PM | #9 | |
Guest
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IP:
But hey Im not complainin' Well then again yes I am
See the stress in my hand? Don't push me to get over it Im tryin' the best I can ^^^ Shit Was Tight, Personal . . . The Whole Piece Flowed Nice . . . Your Rhyme Scheme Followed Through Evenly, From Bar To Bar . . . Nice Imagery, And You Even Had Some Alliteration Here And There, If It Was Intended Or Not, It Was Nice ! ! |
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10-06-03, 09:48 PM | #10 | |
Guest
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IP:
This was DOPE... this is one of the best reads for me in a while... your flow reminds me of Aesop Rock... the imagry is almost there too... there were some fuckin DOPE lines in there too
This lair is deep Fell in it a while ago And never stopped fallin' I used to cry out for help No one answered I stopped callin' ^^^My favorite line keep up the dopeness... you gotta represent the name us "Mental's" have to keep it ill here on rb... you are livin up to your name... peep soem of my shit... tell me if i am too |
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10-06-03, 10:03 PM | #11 | |||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
Quote:
Nah it wasn't intended...And I still don't see wat you talkin' about... And thanks for the replies again...Uppin...Peace |
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10-06-03, 10:13 PM | #12 | |
Guest
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IP:
This season Eternal flames Everlastin' elements of pain
^^^Thats One Example . . . Please Return The Favor And Peep My Open Mic |
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10-06-03, 11:12 PM | #13 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
Word...LoL...Nah It didn't even realize that ish...Peace
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10-06-03, 11:19 PM | #14 | |
Guest
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IP:
i used to play in the devils play ground
and battle niggers and they got clownd but now im too busy for that cuz im a man and i be too busy repping da Klan im the illest white rapper since Bubba Sparxxx i attack like great white sharks Eminem is wack, he should be black call me Bubba SparKKK, wit da electric attack |
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10-07-03, 12:06 AM | #15 | ||
The Golden Chyld
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IP:
^Shut the fucc up...
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