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lifenish
IP:
when i first tried to start sumthan,anythin it was like he diddnt want me to complete it damn//
tryin to finish it but neva suceeded, growin up tried to starve and was jus force feeded// life pushed shit in my life tryin to take it all bak, regretin certain things waitin but it felt like my blls neva dropped outa meh sack// but when i found a love i was fnally completed, or at least i thought until shit started to git heated// turned on me and went with, was it sumthan i did wat made your life so dim// **Chorus x2 spent my life learnin and burnin// makin mistakes and doing many retakes// loved ya my family ta// but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//** At the age of thriteen caused more shit that i could take in, did shit wit her anyways even tho i wasnt supposed to be datin// life seemd to think i was sumthan that could be recycled, father sayin and preachin to be like god in the bible// fucked that shit neva listened to him anyways, now rethinkin i shoulda listened to him thos manydays// Sneakin out every once and a while, it was fun for a bit till it all jus became too wild// started riots and violence not learnin till lata down the road, spent nights locked outside in nothin but the cold// **Chorus x2 spent my life learnin and burnin// makin mistakes and doing many retakes// loved ya my family ta// but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//** Seventeenth birthday and ive thought bout the past relizin that shit ive been lucky that ive lasted// gotten into fights and accidents neva relized till i was in a hospital, but then charges filed with cause that was probabal// put in jail at fifthteen for stealin shop liftin was a must, noone on my block i could trust// but now that im out at my parents house, i feel so alone trapped like trap that has da mouse// but I **Chorus x2 spent my life learnin and burnin// makin mistakes and doing many retakes// loved ya my family ta// but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//** v |
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IP:
omg that was off flow like woah, that was whack practically cus there is no flow at all, sorry but you need tot elavate badly i think
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Guest
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IP:
iight good honest reply that tech was my first actually open mic peice so thanks fo thfeedbak
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Can u beat me?..Hell No
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IP:
yeah this flow was off. i feel some serious elevation is needed. try to rhyme a lil bit in your flows. also try and throw in some metas and multies. check the emergancy whackness thread if u need any help.
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1E
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IP:
i agree that the flow was a bit off, but it wasn't that bad, i didn't think the hook was too good though, and the whole thing just seemed emotionless, like it was forced............but its only criticism, keep droppin!....................
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