(my bad- i forgot to put my replies in)--just 10 ---bein whte
---Rnc---for the cause--
word perfect---ultimate competition




i could tell it was a bad day when i woke up late for work//
had to go in and start my day right away wit paperwork//
gettin paid to go baserk-FUCK IT!! I'M GOIN POSTAL!//
nah, gotta keep my cool and do what i'm suposed to//
gotta keep my head on straight-keep the bills from being late//
i got 5 mouths to feed and gotta keep food on their plate//
everyday i make mistakes! but yo i'm learnin lessons//
and if i learn from my mistakes i'll be the wisest in my profession// but right now, i'm livin check to check broke as fuck//
needa change of luck cuz i'm about to destruct//
the human tickin time bomb-next to be on the news accused of pipebombs//
or snipin' from the rooftops wit rifles drawn//
but the safest way to kill someone is when i write songs//
cuz 25 witta "L" is way too fuckin long//
i stay strong, even wit the weight of the world in arms//
and neva let my knees buckle, MOTHAFUCKA BRING IT ON!!

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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!

this was a pretty nice drop playa u had some nice bars wit some good vocab...........but u should change your structure up....paragraph form makes it harder to read

i tried to go back and seperate the lines like you said-it looks a little better--the main thing is, it rides perfect to the beat though. i appreciate the feedback!

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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!

I really appriciate that cause I'm basically the same now
I liked the words and I measured the pros and cons of crime on occassion

lol nice drop good way to express yur self but im sorry vocab wus ight umm up yur multi syablles a bit more but nice drop ight flow up lil bit more werk u be strait wid it umm ill give u a 7/10

uppin 4 feedback

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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!

Hey bud, can you post your replies to three other peoples stuff? Its in the rules if you need more info.

Thanks.

This peice is ok, a little short and cudda bin elevated in certain places. Vocab was a little weak I think, and some of the rhymes are played.

Keep droppin

this writting is good i know i am a beginner but i would like to show u whati got

thanx 4 the feedback...uppin 4 more

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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!

this verse was ok...kinda basic..try usin a bigger vocab n work on your structure...had some nice lines just a lil to basic