hold up yall...
just listin...
have u ever wonderd what people are thinkin...
it's like people see what they wanna see...
and belive what they want to...
shit needs to wrok out ya know...
it's like...

[Verse 1] <~( Yaz )~>(\1/)<~( The Forsaken One )~>
your eyes are wide shut, like they rolled up in-your-skull//
you clearly see the world, colourless, black and dull//
shit never goes rite so you pass down the torch//
to sum other bitch who think he bout to florish//
FUCK NO!!! wene im up il kill any living being//
get them to realize their clearly not-seeing//
shit fucked up and you protestin your the best//
man they should lock u under citizin arrest//
your not seein the truth to-this, clearly im bein to-ruthless//
you best do-this, listen to my shit and think of-it//
mabey your skillz improve and you'll level wit-it//
make a hit, come out on top then drop with-it//
then you'll be back to callin out my name and-shit//
your whole army could stand up to us three//
shay-d, me and the MC-UsKi//
number one MC killers, can't get no realer//
next to us bitch your no opeiler//
You can't see the truth... evan if it fucks you up//
You can't see shit with open eyes wide shut//

[Chorus]
EYES - INTO A PLACE THAT I TAKE YOU
WIDE - IT SEEMS NO BODY CAN MISTAKE YOU
SHUT - I GUESS THIS IS THE TRUTH
OPEN EYES WIDE SHUT, BUT THEY NEVA KNEW YOU

[Verse 2] {/]~{ Mc-UsKi }~[\}
people see what they wanna belive...
but do they realy know what goes on...
it's like...
our eyes wide open but ide open but u takein in-nothin//
u neva saw the outcome, den u shouldn't have been-frontin//
your blind to the fact that i kill your whole team//
their no way u could believe the way they'll scream//
thats the problem with som people today//
all they do is see wat they say//
with ur eyes wide shut dawg u see wat u wanna see//
be wat u wanna be//
y were u saying we was tight//
then the next day u snagged mi bitch and we had a fight//
man we both kno i can box//*ahah*
and we all kno u went out with that girl so u could cover up u like cox//*hahah*
saying i should comit suicide//
me thinken should i live or die DAMN i can deside//
with ur eyes wide shut u see nothing what its surposed to look like//
man just give me a motha fuken mic//
so I can Rip u up 1 by 1//
we knew each otha since the 1st grade//
then our frendship started to fade//
u got positive when u were drug tested//
Man I don’t touch drugs but u did now u arrested//
with ur eyes wide shut u only see me//
but if u looked properly//
u might actually see 4 once//

[Chorus]x2
EYES - INTO A PLACE THAT I TAKE YOU
WIDE - IT SEEMS NO BODY CAN MISTAKE YOU
SHUT - I GUESS THIS IS THE TRUTH
OPEN EYES WIDE SHUT, BUT THEY NEVA KNEW YOU


[Verse 3] ][-[]-][_-=Shayd=-_][-[]-][
uski will rip u 1 by 1 but i'll rip u guys 2 by 2//
keep ur eyes open or u wont know what is gonna hit u//
close ur eyes... and u wont make it through//
now look at ur eyes wide shut ... now there openin//
see whatchu wanna see.. but this is the closin//
beleive whatchu wanna beleive... but this is what im sayin//
u closed ur eyes... now look at u despertly prayin//
u should of listened...now im gettin sick of ur complainin//
next time look around and see whats happenin... or ur life turns
to shit//
my life is already shit , now thats what is forcin me to spit//
don't act like me or it'll lead u to hell//
ive closed my eyes... now i cant see to well//
keep ur eyes open... or u'll end up hurt//
close them... and u get permantly buried under the dirt//
open ur eyes once and for all//
cause ur not ready to take a big fall//
close ur eyes and u wont make it... u wont have a chance AT ALL//

hahahah yo we did this shit cause we where bored…
but I hope u get our fuken message bitch…..

that shit is tight just because im in it....
nah im just playin lol.....
ya yall tell us what u think about it

haha im the only one dat swore... u pussys// i realy think im addicted to swearin lol

true mcs dun need to swear

the verses are too damn long for 1.. & for 2 the flows rather off.. try to import multies in ur verses to try & create a bit of a rhyme scheme.. like..

bitch in a yard.
trick from afar.
dick with a car.
sick of the bars.

put shit like that within ur verses & at the end of each line to have shit flow better..

for example..

this rap shit makes me wanna clap shit.
i've mapped it & made it thru the wrath bitch.

but on to the collab..

to me Yaz had the best verse as far as content goes, cause none of yall had a great flow, but yaz had lines that made a nigga think about some shit, like his opener.. overall i give this collab a 6 out of 10 for originality & metaphors..

aiight thanx for tha feed bak ne more???????????

eh yo uski u purpisly bolded those words.... all together the say....
~~~~~~~~~~~~FUCK NO....DAMN....AT ALL~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shit talkin bout hidein msgs.
iight yo nemore feedback.

keep it crackin.
Peace(\1/)

Replies to others?

o 4got
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89289
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89596
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89289

check this ILL shit

any feed back?????

yo any feedback?????

yaz
your not seein the truth to-this, clearly im bein to-ruthless//
too ruthless? dont get it sorry.
man they should lock u under citizin arrest//
citizens arrest.
Overall- Work somemore and structure and the opieler rhyme didnt flow well with rest of vocab
McUski
your blind to the fact that i kill your whole team//
their no way u could believe the way they'll scream//
^^saying team is gayish. not e-gangster and u say that u kill your team but say next line the way they'll scream like u havent killed them

with ur eyes wide shut dawg u see wat u wanna see//
ur guy above u said that shit already.

man just give me a motha fuken mic//
so I can Rip u up 1 by 1//
^^taking to one dude but u address many.

u might actually see 4 once//
dont rhyme

Overall- Speak what u know.
Read some RB's Legends threads and learn some shit
.....
Shay-d
beleive whatchu wanna beleive... but this is what im sayin//
^what are u saying? i dont get the story line
pick a topic

uski will rip u 1 by 1 but i'll rip u guys 2 by 2//
...dissin own guy? dont work well. with topic.

close them... and u get permantly buried under the dirt//
didnt flow with top line. gotta lengthen top or shorten this one.

open ur eyes once and for all//
cause ur not ready to take a big fall//
close ur eyes and u wont make it... u wont have a chance AT ALL//
saying big fall is like a 2 syllable ending rhyme
if the top is not dont rhyme it
overall-i didnt get it.
but o wells go get a sick atopic and rip it cuz
....i think u could if u worked.
EYES - INTO A PLACE THAT I TAKE YOU
WIDE - IT SEEMS NO BODY CAN MISTAKE YOU
SHUT - I GUESS THIS IS THE TRUTH
OPEN EYES WIDE SHUT, BUT THEY NEVA KNEW YOU
^^nice corus.

<h4>Overall Piece- whoever was incharge of that chorus nice job
and its best to tell a story to your topic
or write ur life
or something
not just redundant shit
Sorry if my comments are all on the negitive side.
u got positive when u were drug tested//
^^if u worded this better u would have gotten a sick line.</h4>

__________________
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We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office
Aesop.

^^yo thanx for tha advice But asny otha feedbck??