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Light Weight
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If I had the chance
IP:
If I had the chance, to spread my wings
I'd take everything away with me get out of this place I'm living in cuz I'm tired of being forced to live in sin If I had the chance, to let you know how much I care and love behold push beyond the feelings that eagerly grow walking down the road that I have chose If I had the chance, to give you the world you'd have everything and you know you would girl spend my whole night promising you things that a heavenload of God's couldn't even bring If I had the chance, to take it back I wouldn't own a second and that's a fact just to keep what we have in tact closing my eyes just to see black If I had the chance, to have you here I'd give up anything just to have you hear how much I love you, with your ears my only purpose to eradicate your fears.... If I had the chance, to live a new life without this body, and a pair of new eyes of course I'd take it, but that's just me and I know still that yo ass love me ^ what I got so far for an upcoming spoken word poem track I'm doing....lemme know what u think... |
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Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP:
its alright, its difficult to find the flow because a few parts have rythym while others do not, but still good content, 1luv.
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Guest
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IP:
Wow. Dis is a kick ass drop. There is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. You have a lot of love and feeling into this and not too many guys can do that. I loved it. Kinda speachless on it. Not too many ppl can do dat to me with poems. You definitely got da talent. I'm looking forward very much to see the completed version of it. I'm sure that it will be 10 times as great when its finished. Great job once again. Most respect. Keep em comin.
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Light Weight
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IP:
^ thanx...I like getting that kinda crit..actually makes me want to finish the poem lol....
but to the person who said they couldn't find the flow....try a little harder..cuz I wrote this to a beat...and it flows perfectly..b/c while it is a poem keep in mind it's gonna be an audio as well....but neway thanx for the replies
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<center> I.J.L</center> |
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Light Weight
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IP:
0H W0W! My babi dropped something that was HAPPY!
![]() The flow.. was DEFINITELY there. Maybe its because I know you well enough to know how you write, to understand the way you do it.. but the flow was sicc. You used nice vocabulary. The choice of words was right on in every line of this piece. Can't wait to see the finished piece babi.. Nice drop. Much love.. ![]() ![]()
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<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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Light Weight
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IP:
^ awww shucks your just saying that...
lmao jk love u too
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<center> I.J.L</center> |
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Guest
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IP:
Everything was there and I seen no flaws. I don't care for structure or any of that crap. If it means something and the emotion is there thats all it needs. Great drop. Keep going and let the mind flow free. Spect JT
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Light Weight
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IP:
thanx man....
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<center> I.J.L</center> |
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Guest
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IP:
very nice flow. i loved this piece i think that it i was a very good drop and i really enjoyed reading it. it defental had enothing flowing throught it also. nice use of vocab keep up da good work
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Light Weight
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Re: If I had the chance
IP:
Quote:
I'm jus responding again because I was reading this for the millionth time and I just read that part over and realized its my favorite part of this. I dont know why, maybe because I just like how it flows.. its just nice.. You know I love you.. ![]() ![]()
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<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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Light Weight
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IP:
hehehe...I like poems lol
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<center> I.J.L</center> |
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