RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-20-03, 09:22 PM   #1
Supreme Da Ghost
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Freestyle!!!

IP:

yea .......uh......iight.... feel me!!!

let me get it crackin//
set it on these bitches//
for actin//
pistol whipp'em//
take all of there possesions//
then clap'em//
skate off in da Ac//
an put da heat-up at stash//
switch -up whips//
head back to da scene//
in time to see'em//
zip-ur ass-up in da bagg//
how many bodies is it gonna take//
to show yall I dont plat dat//
lil Bobby tried to robb me//
took him for a ryde outta-state//
dat he aint ever make back//
Molly brotha Bud from downtown//
got gased//& pulled out on me//
made me get down//
but i aint have nuttin but a bag a weed on me//
3 weeks later//downtown// this nigga gets snuffed-out//
jaw all-wired shut//cuz da gun-butt//
shattered his mouth//when shout ur hood out//
sounds like ur faggots dat proud//
homo-style nigga dat pack a gat//
we all know ur style//
bend-over an take it from da back//
Da Ghost//i could flow for hours//
but iam gonna go lay a new track//
ONE
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-03, 09:33 PM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

DONT LIKE THIS STYLE BUT YOU DID A DECENT ASS JOB ON IT IT WASNT BAD ATA LL
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 08:54 AM   #3
self
one wink
 
self's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,521
From: Climbing a mesa
IP:

Hey, can you post up who you replied to?
Rules Thread Link - More Information On It Can Be Found Here
Thanks Man.
Send a message via AIM to self   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 08:58 AM   #4
Funn DementaLL
BANNED - Cheating
 
Funn DementaLL's Avatar
 
Posts: 235
From: East London
IP:

The structure too simple but I can see the potential in you an ya'll won't take too olng to elevate. concentrate more on wordplay, multi's an methophores... us open mic heds love em'

Please return the favour an lay a vote down on my battle...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=92451

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
click the link

Thanx
Send a message via Yahoo to Funn DementaLL   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 09:53 AM   #5
Trah Siph
Masquarading 4 U
 
Posts: 762
From: Ingerland!
IP:

need to extend bars......usually people need to shorten but you need to lengthen and think of ya flow a lot...........have a subject matterv to write about
__________________
sigs are for herbs...Thats why I got one!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 02:17 PM   #6
Supreme Da Ghost
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

thanx for da tips i appreciate it iight
Ghost
ONE
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 02:38 PM   #7
KLINIK
Registered User
 
Posts: 202
IP:

agreeing with all the above up there .. drop too simple .. try adding a little bit of vocabs but not too much .. it'll just be boring .. wordplay would be nice .. if you try adding mluties .. it'll make it a real nice read .. it wasn't all that good .. but it wasn't that bad .. just keep workin .. get at me! ay! peep my sig and return the favor!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 03:01 PM   #8
2hOt4tV
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

Hot Shit,but i bet ur flow is betta on longer lines, u know what i mean dOg, keep elevatin'...............~1~

Reply my oPen Mic like i Did PLeAse
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93181
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-03, 11:58 PM   #9
LoCo
This is my first post!
 
LoCo's Avatar
 
From: Chi-Town 616 HOLLA
IP:

i liked it
__________________
Reppin NUCLEAR CONCEPTS


Grimey - Records
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-03, 12:15 AM   #10
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
High Class's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,573
IP:

Yea, its straight. Just extend your lines, and work on ya vocab. then you will be straight, aight homie? there is alot more, but those can really help, with a good topic of course. Nice drop.

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion
__________________


Sig created by "Tha Sick One..."

CRHYME SINDICATE

Open Mic Drops
-Defying The Odds-

Higher Thinking League
Record 2-0

High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match)


  Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-03, 12:29 AM   #11
SavingGrace
Registered User
 
SavingGrace's Avatar
 
Posts: 59
From: South Cacklacky
IP:

Hope u dont mind if i free in ya post//
droppin betta shit than rest or tha most//
superb lyrics flowin like a pen does ta paper//
i should make some CD's stamped wit my label//
i attack like a vivacious pitbull trained for battle//
Ridin on you like a horse w/ no saddle//
so much ill in my flow u cant even figure//
on youl like some brand new hilfiger//
I aint have to push Rocks, like no fuckin tractor//
sellin green on the scene aint no damn factor//
this simple rhyme shit is drivin me crazy//
bitch who you mess with? Dont try to play me.......


Go ahead, i wanna know how i did for my first rap post
SG
Send a message via AIM to SavingGrace   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-03, 11:47 AM   #12
Quelude
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

I think that one should not concentrate as much on complexity as one should ocus on getting their point across. I like the simplicity. I don't care for the content, I doubt that you really thuggin. I been in the streets and just from the scenarios you put out there I can tell they are recycled from your past movie and television experiences. Along with a lil bit of typical "mini mack" rap style it makes for a bad read to most, keep trying though, be more creative, and say something from the soul.
  Reply With Quote


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:53 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.