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Old 11-21-03, 11:23 AM   #1
snakeyes
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 143
From: south central l.a
Deadly Glands

IP:

time to spit venom so toxic to your nervous system/
i got a beat with a tight rythm as my words float like helium/
one man gang going against any white members from da klan/
bitch, i aint batman, but my flows kick harder than van dam/
see, i own this land way before it got jacked by uncle sam/
so anyone callin me a wetback could suck my toe jam/
funk and soul all in one big toe/
you think the south is dirty, fu , i hit low/
and i don't give a flyin fuck cuz i know i can flow/
see, i like to steal the show and hang out at moe's/
drink a flamin homer and let it down slow/
got time in my hands so i kick back like a scarecrow/
think of my next rymes to mold and shape with dough/
i flow about anything cuz i aint no busta ass rapper/
i am the evil with two eyes of hurricane disaster/
i be looking for them freestyle kidnappers/
the ones that be stealing rymes out of my chapters/
fuck it, i know i stink cuz i'm the shit/
little by little i grow like busta douglas's busted lip/
got to end this ride with a hip and hop muthafucka i cant stop/
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Old 11-21-03, 02:01 PM   #2
Menik
Word.
 
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Posts: 2,017
From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

You need to drop links or names to the people you left feedback on..

This was alright....try to make your lines around the same length though cause you have some long and short lines....flow was alright, add some multies and internals to help with that though...up your vocab....Overall this was alright...Keep At It And Keep Dropping.
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Old 11-21-03, 02:50 PM   #3
2hOt4tV
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Posts: n/a
IP:

It WAs hoT,lyrics was good,in some lines u said some hot shit i didnt spect so its Hot,keep it up.........

and reply my drop http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93181
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Old 11-21-03, 08:05 PM   #4
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
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Posts: 1,573
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masta C is pretty much right, its not bad. But its not good, to me its just another rap. Grab my attention, use things that havent been used befor. The venom thing is to over used. You got mad potential homie, just put it to work. aight, I got some shit im ganna post up later on. Be sure to peep it and see what I got, aight? keep elevatin playa

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion
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Old 11-22-03, 07:41 AM   #5
snakeyes
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Posts: 143
From: south central l.a
IP:

thanks guys. i know i aint to bad.
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