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Old 11-24-03, 03:10 PM   #1
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
Corrupted Visions: Can't Let You Go

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Posted In: Restricted, WORTH, Tax


Every time I close my eyes all I see is your face…
Remembering your lips and their pure taste…
Tasting Sweet like you, I never speak more true..
When I told you….it would just be us two….
Cause from the moment I first felt your lips…
All I ever was…was just dealt four sips….
Of tasting your sweet nectar, it cant be described…
And from that moment, I just wanted you to be mine…
I wanted to live that moment with you as long as I could..
And I would as long as you said you were mine for good..

I just cant let you go…
When your in my arms you glow..
I just cant let you go…
Baby I have so much to show…
I just cant let you go…
Baby I just have to let you know..
I just cant let you go…

All it takes is just one touch to bring a smile to my face…
If you ever went away you would take awhile to replace..
Cause underneath the stars you just shine so bright…
As I look at you all I think is making you mine tonight…
Times not right cause it just went way too fast…
The moment I want to last, I cant turn back to the past..
Cause you aren’t there and it wouldn’t be the same…
And ill be there no matter what when you speak my name…
Cause all I hear is your soft voice…it just lures me in…
So many things I need to say, don’t know where to begin…

I just cant let you go…
When your in my arms you glow..
I just cant let you go…
Baby I have so much to show…
I just cant let you go…
Baby I just have to let you know..
I just cant let you go…

You’re wonderful smile always brightens up my day…
And I could be lost but you always lighten up the way..
Just looking into your eyes makes it hard to breathe…
And when I say goodbye, for me its just hard to leave…
I want to stay with you and hold you in your sleep…
And if loving you was a game, I’d play for keeps…
Cause I cant lose you, I need you here with me…
To hold you and whisper in your ear “kiss me”…
I just want to show you all of my affection…
Cause to me your everything...your perfection…
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Old 11-24-03, 03:16 PM   #2
LoCo
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flow was tight... feelin the emotion
nice
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Old 11-24-03, 04:33 PM   #3
Dev
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yeah man....this came across good.....stuck to the topic nicely....quite a simple approach.....but it worked...maybe that was cos of the emotion in it,,dunno.......i would say thought the vocab could be expanded on..i think....but nice drop....Pz......
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Old 11-24-03, 06:07 PM   #4
WORD~PERFECT
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all in all all elements where here and it came nice tight peace
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Old 11-24-03, 09:49 PM   #5
Menik
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Hey thanks for the feedback so far...Keep the feedback coming in..its much appreciated, thanks.
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Old 11-24-03, 11:21 PM   #6
Gene Pool
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yo man was a good drop. a good approach to but like deva said the vocab coulda maybe been upped a bit but other then that ur flow was down, the emotion was there, u had some imagery to this piece and u had some good structure work here, I also thought ur hook was down. good job bro if u wanted me to rate this I'd say an 8.5 outta 10. keep droppin bro. peace.
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>
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Old 11-25-03, 12:22 AM   #7
KeMy$t
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yo nice rhyme man it was tight keep up the good work peace
-KeMy$t
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Old 11-25-03, 11:45 AM   #8
$pitacular
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simple but deep enough to keep reading. good drop, maybe a little work on the vocab, but complex vocab wasn't really necessary for the feeling, so 8/10

peace
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Old 11-25-03, 12:16 PM   #9
UnParalled
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Yo....This was straight.....Although I've seen waayyy too many posts Like this in open mic already.....*nods slowly*......Flow was nice though.....You stayed on subject....good post....
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Old 11-25-03, 05:33 PM   #10
Menik
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Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
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Old 11-25-03, 06:00 PM   #11
RawSwordsMen
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Well I'm not a big fan of these types of lyrics,not into them soft shit
but this isnt about my likes,
the flow was there,simple but sweet, the chorus was a bit weak
Nothing really stood out....pretty much basic..and as far as the cat saying a vocab wasnt really needed...well i think it was cuz i think many people would agree....it was pretty much unorginal...
but a overall you get a
5.5/10
next time try to be more creative with you words

Peace....
1............
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Old 11-25-03, 06:12 PM   #12
dilousion412
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good as always. flow was perfect, some multies. keep droppin. thanks for hittin mine up too
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Old 11-25-03, 10:43 PM   #13
Menik
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Hey thanks for the feedback so far...keep the feedback coming in, Its much appreciated, Thanks.
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Old 11-26-03, 12:48 AM   #14
-uski-
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yo dawg that was a Nyce Piece i was feeling ya in that one good Lyrics......but u Vocab could get al little touch up but all round a pretty tight Peice...........


Peace Out Kuz(v)
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Old 11-26-03, 01:18 AM   #15
SoLoE
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nice piece.......i give it 7/10........ not my style but i do get on that tip once in a while.......... u gifted kid

wun
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