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Old 11-30-03, 05:47 PM   #1
Explict
jjkoert
 
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From: Chicago
The System..!

IP:

theres too many perverts, criminals, everything is political
government policies tryin to take away our principles
i thought in America we were supposed to have freedom
but all we get from these leaders is a misled trust and treason
with weak minds we believe 'em, a lust for money their only reason
they drain the money from our country but yet we vote to keep 'em
ban smoking in public places, but still give rights to racists
homes to illegal immigrants, but yet drop murder cases
higher the taxes of us hard working people to pay the homeless
they'll feed you a bunch of bullshit, but a politicians back is boneless
they create this world we live in, we get no say in what should clear
increase the price of fags and beer cos they know we'll persevere
cos they know us all too well, they say something nice, we let it swell
then that'll overcome the fact that they're criminals and then they'll find their wealth
crimes risin, you know why, cos education is becomming weak
with so many police on the street, you can resolve a situation with a speach.
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Old 11-30-03, 06:03 PM   #2
.Iknoevel.
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good piece...pretty good length...i liked it....you should expand on it...overall great job ..9/10
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Old 11-30-03, 06:06 PM   #3
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jjkoert
 
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From: Chicago
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thanks dawg... appriciate ya thought....waiting on more feedback.
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Old 11-30-03, 06:10 PM   #4
YJ
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nice piece flowed nicely
good vocab keep droppin
9/10
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Old 11-30-03, 06:28 PM   #5
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jjkoert
 
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From: Chicago
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thanks dawg for u time.....and your feedback
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Old 11-30-03, 07:12 PM   #6
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I was feeling this hommie. Everything did well, stright vocab, good flow, nice rhyme scheme. Maybe a little more work on attention lines. You know, that hypes the people up for the next couple of lines. Im feeling this, you have improved. 8 / 10
Nice Drop Hommie...

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Old 11-30-03, 08:39 PM   #7
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thats for you feedback dawg...
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Old 12-01-03, 04:37 AM   #8
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Your structure is ok but you need a fresher topic. . All that political shit gets old really fast. . Try thinking of something no one else has done before. .

Also. .
Funny how you say "fags and beer" when you're from chicago?

I thought fags was an english term for cigarettes? Not have known it to be used in the Chicago area. . lol
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Old 12-01-03, 08:46 AM   #9
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relply to three other open mics, and post links to these replies in this thread, otherwise this gets deleted.
thanks.
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Old 12-01-03, 09:46 AM   #10
Trah Siph
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nice political piece.....................8/10
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Old 12-01-03, 10:58 AM   #11
Dappa Rappa
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Decent lyrics, neatly creative.......................................... ................ 7.13873737/10

You can have a merit
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Old 12-01-03, 11:34 AM   #12
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jjkoert
 
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From: Chicago
IP:

This is to Dope Wax:

where i said: Fags and Bear

Fags = English Term used for cigerrets..

also used in Great Britian..you see i like to travel.. and listen to the way other people use their terms and slang..so i somethimes use it in my raps..


PZ
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Old 12-01-03, 12:10 PM   #13
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really good piece man maybe u should expand n try to give solutions to all that shit n dont listen to the peeps that say its an old topic cause as long as theres corruption n shit is twisted we gotta strive to fix it. im out
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Old 12-01-03, 12:13 PM   #14
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jjkoert
 
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From: Chicago
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thank for your feedback dawg i appriciate it...

PZ
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Old 12-01-03, 05:52 PM   #15
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okay, ignore me and don't post your links.
I've seen your replies, they're shitty as all anyways.
Read the rules before you post again.
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