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Old 12-13-03, 11:28 AM   #1
rule
..Soft Focus..
 
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Posts: 1,639
From: Ont.
Soft Focus: The Weathers Art

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Replied To: Deva, Ace Of Spades, Robo

Winter
A dark silent walk home I glance to see the beuatiful trees glow
Remarkable the vision after the storm layed a blanket of snow
Trapped in this peace of mind of the soft focus of the evils illusion
Sparkling drops of snow eazing my mind putting rest to confusion
It's cantagious I could stare at the mysterious eye candy all night
An never feel i've had enough, It helps my ego..believe i'm alright
Who would have thought just a walk could be a helpful therapist
Take away the evil stop you from going and slitting your wriste
Eyes feel focused staring at how the ecosystem actually works
The winter is so precious maybe it's because of jessus's birth

Spring
The year is changing like the baby who was born in december
Gods cryin rain to wash up snow another season to remember
Paralyzen hate with waterfall of lust that begins to prove love
You sit and hear the angels play with the thunder from above
Puddles left in the ground from the rain storm...nights perfection
You stare in the dew of the damp leaves to see your reflection
Unparishable the items on the trees that begin to slowly sprout
The lakes begin to flow hard and you see fishermen netting trout
This season is another blessing indisguise from powerful angels
We pray to the keeper of earth to show we're forever thankful

Summer
Inflatuated by the power from the sun and the bliss handed
Down in rays lettin flowers bloom an migrated birds be landed
Animals awake from hibernation morning you hear birds churping
Look out side at the surroundings and see everythings working
From the smallest insect to the largest bear summers majestic
With a symphany of sounds in the morning leaving us goin hectic
Wake up a little early so you see the sun go down feel the sunset
Open yours eye like flowrs see summer is beuatiful...no regrets
Heating up the water so our race can swim and enjoy pleasure
Another season change that was opened up golden treasure

Fall
The temperature starts to fall similer to the leaves on the trees
See the animals packin up an birds gettin ready tobe diseased
Flowers being drownded in rain rivers start to have a light ice
A sheet so thin but sets the mood just right an for know price
Covered in leaves and mud from a little river on your property
You can tell the seasons talken to you by the rain fallen promply
Trust this season will come back with more stormy weather
Rain drenching ya close fog stallen your journy..anything better?
This is special in its own little way everything is a young waterfall
Maybe this is actually why they declare this fallen season..fall

The Art
Seasons can't cure the blind but they help them feel there way
Give a right purpose similer to thoughts on why christians pray
Showing different pictures from rivers to snow on the trees
Incredible it's so blissful could take away the air you breath
Take a glance around you and feel the mystical painting it draws
Deserves an aplause for many ways it leaves your eyes in awes
Doesn't use a paint brush a pad it simply uses it's suroundings
Tangles vains around trees leaving certian remarkle findings
This is the portrate of life a daily picture that'll never depart
Helps your insight rain snow fog mist all a beuatiful art

Last edited by rule : 12-13-03 at 11:33 AM.
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Old 12-13-03, 11:46 AM   #2
J*Miles
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tight shit dawg keep yah ead
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Old 12-13-03, 11:47 AM   #3
MD_killa
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Yo ... Beef set aside ... no matter what the beat...

this shyt was tight fa sho dunny's... well at least the first one was winter... but overall shyt was on point an hittin the target... good spit... now

*back to the beef*

YALL ASS'S SUCK

Caesar on3
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Old 12-13-03, 12:32 PM   #4
Spike Sanders
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YO RULE THIS IS HOT NIGGA, I LIKED THE CONCEPT OF IT.
YOU FLOW,VOCAB,MULTIS, WERE ALL GOOD IN THIS.
A 8.5/10.
I LIKED THE WINTER VERSE THE BEST.

RETURN THE FAVOR AND DROP SOME FEEDBACK ON MY NEWEST OPEN MIC
THE REBELION PT.2-REMIX
THX,PEACE
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Old 12-13-03, 01:30 PM   #5
Spekta
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This is a pretty good piece. Definately worth the time invested in writing it. I thought the first paragraph was excellent in structure, the picture it presented through metaphors, and flow.

I started reading, not quite knowing what to expect, and was definately surprised in finding that the content is so vivid, and alive with imagery.

I enjoyed the majority of the piece, especially the first verse: 'Winter', and the last: 'The Art'.

I felt that 'Fall' could have been more refined in concept, as it didn't quite follow the same type of imagery as the other verses, sort of took me out of the mindset of the rest of the piece. I thought it could have been more "on point", having more to do with the theme previously set than "what I'm doing" in this time of year.

Other than that, I have no more "constructive criticism" for you on this piece.

Overall: 7.4

Keep at it, this was some tight-ass work.

Return tha favor and watch for mine.
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Old 12-13-03, 02:31 PM   #6
High Class
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This was a really nice drop hommie. I was feeling the vocab, the subject matter, and the conisistancy of the flow. It was definently a good read, and you had alot of lines that grabbed my attention in there. You always droppin that ill shit, Nice work hommie...

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Old 12-13-03, 11:07 PM   #7
rule
..Soft Focus..
 
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From: Ont.
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Thanks uppen for some critiques
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Old 12-13-03, 11:15 PM   #8
cr0nix
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From: West - to east to - North - to South- i thug it all
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it was straight flow,wordplay,imagery
i liked it
8/10
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Old 12-14-03, 06:35 AM   #9
Dev
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From: N.E.England
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thought the best part was the imagery....really got the feeling across....along with the structure n flow n shit....it really set it off.....nice drop interesting concept...keep up the good work man...pZ...
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Old 12-14-03, 07:46 AM   #10
str8-n-sane
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this was tight....real peice and the concept was bangin..... the vocab was nice in this and the best part was you knew what you were saying with the vocab instead of jus forging words in there..... good peice and keep elevating....pz
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Old 12-14-03, 09:48 AM   #11
Slik Shadow
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it had good wordplay in the piece....nice multis and metas also. the flow never fell off and this was a dope piece

9/10...great job

can u please return the favour and hit up the openmics in my sig, thanks alot yo
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Old 12-14-03, 03:47 PM   #12
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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Yeah i agree with everyone this was a Good piece here....structure in this was good.....the flow in this was nice, it stayed on through out it i thought as i was reading it....vocab was good in this.....you had some nice multies i though...i liked the imaginary...overall a nice drop...keep at it.
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Old 12-14-03, 03:55 PM   #13
Canuck
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Very Good. Actually worthy of some serious recognition.
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Old 12-14-03, 04:40 PM   #14
LoCo
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concept was hot
flow was hot,structure was,and this isnt played
9/10
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Old 12-14-03, 09:52 PM   #15
Ace king
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Dis shit was off da hizzle fa shizzle




9.5/10

flows and all was tight main
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