Times are Oppressed, You can even find sadness in laughter
Martyrs discovered, Because they got shot,they a better rapper?
It's all lies, some people don't know how to make it beyond Matrix
Or when they do,they tend to die over how fake our world really is
Maybe there is truth, Just go beyond all our selfish material wishes
Christians,are preaching to others spreading religion like a sickness
And As the world turns, we just sit and wonder when will it next stop
And I only shoot for the stars, Only to see if the moon will ever drop
You are composed of good times by laughing at another's weakness
But when you are weakest, your speechless,you curl up, like a fetus
I walk the block, an angel there beside me walks on his own ground
Trouble arrives, I need my guardian, but I wonder where he ran now
It's often to my lifetime to be left hungry with little or no scraps found
And so I plan to finish my musical dinner plate little or no scraps found
Poetic disillusions become illusioned, at how useless it is to refuse this
I opened my eyes and saw Atlantis on watered ground. No longer Clueless

I saw what I saw..You saw sights of your own
One thing we can agree on...
Is the darkness seen..in the mind of a young Poe
Finally taking shape..though its useless on its own
Imagination runs wild, until your blood runs cold...



fuck its length...and fuck you.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3459#post993459
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3473#post993473
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99072

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

i liked it good vocab and decent flow although in some spots it fell off.and good sturcture everyline was prettymuch the same length.overall a very good drop...........

vote on this battle.........its beein slept on.............

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=97818

How The fuck do you post a battle link in Open Mic. And heres some Homework...Read My piece and post some real feedback.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

This is an alright pz I feel you on how fake the world is. Christianity is the only hope I have. So your point is clear well illustrated good use of vocab but this line
{It's often to my lifetime to be left hungry with little or no scraps found
And so I plan to finish my musical dinner plate little or no scraps found}
could have used some more creative rhyme scheme. and the outro was a little weak but I feel where ur comin from pz and luv.

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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish

Jo JO...
ever heard of a person using a bit of wordplay?

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

and the good word is:

Well i couldnt quite grasp the topic either than the idea that people these days are sheep and just follow the masses. Your flow was kinda strained because the syllabul count got higher as the piece went further

In my opinon you had a few forced rhymes, heres the biggest example i could find

It's all lies, some people don't know how to make it beyond Matrix
Or when they do,they tend to die over how fake our world really is

The flow of the 1st line made the sound of the 2nd no where near the correct pronunciation...

Overall, this was not bad...great imagry and descriptions...

If you would be so kind
me and Speek EZ have a collab called Self Inflicted... please give us your 2 cents

id be elated to see beyonce on (one of) my piece(s)

^Yeah..I was trying to give the second line an equal bar length, so I added the word really to the end. Thats where that mistake is, because I was trying to give it a good structure. My bust a nut.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

the rhyme would have came off better if you rhymed Matrix with a rhyme ending in a hard consonant (spelling?) suck as tricks, kicks, splits... and thank you for feed on my piece

to the top

^Thanks for the advice. Its been a while since I got actual constructive criticism...this helped me out a bit. Hug?

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!