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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-29-03, 11:47 AM
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#1
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Free Agent
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Max Payne (keystyle)
IP: 1E3A 659B
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...100#post1026100
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102020 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...096#post1026096 {Intro Story} I've cracked brains to leave my enemies thoughtless while I act insane Ever since my wife was slained I converted to the mercilous Max payne I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome I've played with death for years, so my soul is taking a gamble I use to be claimed top detective, the way I was breaking all scandle Now my contracts been released, and I'm a self proclaim free agent I'm bout to prance upon my prey until their face bleed's fragrant
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B.E.S.T The Comeback ||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas|  Mystic (Traitor)
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12-29-03, 11:50 AM
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#2
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
..Not bad..a little short..but..I guess that's why they call it yhe 'Intro...^^
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12-29-03, 12:00 PM
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#3
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Free Agent
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IP: 1E3A 659B
Yeah, my written is coming tommorrow. Will be way better than this keystyle....
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B.E.S.T The Comeback ||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas| Mystic (Traitor)
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12-29-03, 12:05 PM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 47B9 FD94
its aight, lil short, waiting to see the rest when its done.
feedback preciated,. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102059 |
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12-29-03, 02:50 PM
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#5
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Word.
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IP: 340D 8B8F
Yeah this was alright i thought....structure was alright in this....flow was alright, it stayed on point through the piece...didnt fall off really, some spots but very little....you had some good multies in there...but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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12-29-03, 03:22 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
It was good. I would've liked to read more. But good piece
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12-29-03, 03:27 PM
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#7
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RI's prodical son
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IP: EBC0 3E3D
It was a overall original decent flow, Had decent flow...I wanna see it when its finished...one
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Zero effects |
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12-29-03, 04:09 PM
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#8
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Free Agent
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IP: 1E3A 659B
Thanks guys for your comments.....
__________________
B.E.S.T The Comeback ||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas| Mystic (Traitor)
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12-29-03, 04:17 PM
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#9
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Banned: Permanent
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IP: 5F2A E1C0
not bad.. i didn't know if this was about you or the
game tho.. lol specify on that shit. not bad for it being short.. i liked it, not bad hit it up http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102145 |
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01-01-04, 04:04 PM
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#10
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Free Agent
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IP: 399E F0FD
uppin for any last minute feedback
__________________
B.E.S.T The Comeback ||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas| Mystic (Traitor)
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01-06-04, 03:54 PM
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#11
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BANNED
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IP: DF7B C8F7
short, quite good though, you need to work on the legth of your rhymes
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01-06-04, 04:17 PM
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#12
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
again short....but vey nice..props indeed
keep it up |
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01-06-04, 10:02 PM
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#13
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Registered User
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IP: C1DA C961
...Give You Props For Originality...
...Make Ya Lines Shorter... ...Plus, If You Gonna' Make This A "Written," Make This Rhyme... "I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome" |
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01-07-04, 01:30 AM
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#14
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Flyweight
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IP: DCA3 9EE6
nice. nice. very true to the video game.
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--- stay in school |
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