RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-15-04, 01:54 AM   #1
K-Dub
New to RB
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Apr 2004
From: Wa
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
give me some feed back

IP: 83D3 3004

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=119365


thats where the battle was so u can see what he wrote,
tell me what u think about my verse




Hell yea i aint posted nothin yet, im like a fuze thats just been lit,
U think i aint got skills ur bout to get murdered
im the motherfuckin waiter and u just been surved,
HA sain ur a heavy wait, the last pussy u seen was when u was in the 2nd grade,
My rage is like a chainsaw sittin behind bars, when i get let loose i leave people with scars,
think il call out for aid, ur ugly as hell il call u "bitch made"
My flow cant be tuched cuz its been mastered, ur flows are corny u ulgy ass basterd,
still in school but never messed with,
Hey i know u, i just did ur chick,
she said u got nothin in bed,
she told me she had more pleasure givin me head,
i know one thing that ur names not,
2 words bitch its aint hot,
u wana be gangster ur weak,
im slick smooth and cant be beat,
u may be alchohaul but im weed,
toke me up and ul never be beat,
dont hit to much tho or u could die,
im down with this clown im not even gona try..
Send a message via AIM to K-Dub   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-04, 02:13 AM   #2
Triple_N
Ya mom massages my nuts
 
Triple_N's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,991
Joined: Mar 2004
From: Queens, NY
Status: Offline
Text Record: 44-19
Audio Record: 6-1
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: C1DA C961

yo don't take this as an insult playa....but you need lots of work it was ok but you have no punches, multies, vocab, wordplay, but you do have good flow and structure which you can build on, but those things I mentioned are vital cause in this forum, they vote on that shit
Send a message via AIM to Triple_N   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:11 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.