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View Poll Results: Who wrote this topic better ?
t-storm 0 0%
FlOw InTeLLiGeNt 5 100.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 06-22-04, 03:14 AM   #1
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
FlOw InTeLLiGeNt Vs. t-storm....Topical

IP: 9EF2 7F0D

aiight heres the rules....

20 lines min
40 lines max
verse due withing 36 hours after this thread was made
3-0 KO
no d/r hate or crew votes

Topic: Painting A Picture Worth A Thousand Words

(t-storm the topic of war is too easy and too many people have done it so i figured lets do something new)

check in

~!1!~


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Old 06-22-04, 07:50 AM   #2
t-storm
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: england
ok

IP: 6AD2 8F43

aiight mate...the topics crazy...cool though....checkin in............................................
 
Old 06-22-04, 09:52 PM   #3
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 3240 794D

I Think It Would Be Easier To Understand If I Described What I Was Painting... So My Painting Is Of A Weary Man...Check Out The Details




As I nudge close, eyes engulfed in the brushstrokes
Bristles whistle on a canvas of habits and touch home
This Picasso grows old with a cloth cold blind fold
And chose to put life in perspective with his eyes closed
Lines flow with no boundaries when they’re found to meet
With a crash, a splash of color that covers the bounds of seas
Unwound and free like a floating breeze passing by them
In a frame of mind playing freeze tag with the horizon
Fine print in the corner, the owner witnessed his name
Crisp, sealed with a kiss of chapped lips pressing for change
Wick to flame, flame to matches, candles paint the fabric
Of time, light a tunnel of thought and the train is passage
That climbs, to mind’s crevices, designs that pens will drip
Run marathons, upon inspection are dots on sentences
Lining the price tag of a portrait apportioned for retail
I sold it to myself, Well… I was enamored with the details


Taken for granite this man of stone, born to stand alone
Set in bronze, arms weatherworn, strong, tan, and grown
Hands shown, smooth and delicate, no clues of blemishes
Eyes awry, gorgonized, muse the womb of Pegasus
Stoop in reverence, his presence just gleams in the day
Forever dreams of hero status without a wield from his blade
Forever shields his face from the heels of debate
Forever kneels for escape and being free of his cage
Enclosed in his own pose like parentheses on a page
The pause of the comma stays, sways, setting the stage
Impressions in clay, dreams are still wet when they pour
A vigil guard as the chisel tore his umbilical chord
A symbol is born, deformed without a heart and soul
Centuries apart, seemed that the art had lost it’s hold
A first step, a birth of breath that he choked in cold
The pain was vile but he smiled while he broke the mold
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Old 06-22-04, 09:53 PM   #4
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 3240 794D

its in the wrong order....the blue paragraph should be first to understand it better..but it doesnt really matter
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Old 06-22-04, 09:54 PM   #5
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 3240 794D

i mean the blue paragraph should be 2nd not 1st to undersstand it better my bad
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Old 06-23-04, 12:43 AM   #6
t-storm
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: england
ok here i go

IP: 6AD2 8F43

im tryin to show how a painting speaks a thousand words by colours and subject matter...................

take hand to brush.love crushed,silent skys above
surrounded,bustling sounded town,friends and love
time midday,sun ablaze,dry heat beneath sore feet
passion for calm and peace,sunken tasted loves defeat
pleased to read deeper,on another level..state of trance
picks up on hatred,love,fighting and joyous playfull dance
descypher surroundings to begin,colour and view protrude
words and feelings unfold with each brush stroke in solitude
from the grey waste land,crumbled rocks and stoney sand
capturing fossilised memories and desserted,deppressive land

the warm sun tells tales of distant life from far away skys
today causing energy,strange life,constant downs and highs
mezmorizing heat,gifted with life to shine and speak
drainage leak,in city streets,defined by mountain peaks
grass green,representing envy,greed,yet silent breeze
life begins,depths below, motionless calm and apeasing seas
beige sands admire,glossy mettalic church higher spire
devil and demonic ancient tombs,religious burning fire
storm begins to blow,silent hands flow in motion to rains beat
suddenly the picture can breathe,taking away its blazing heat

streets alive,running crowds added....umbrellas ablaze
crys,children pick up pace,faces drop with the clouds haze
every part of lifes desires expressed in colours,the rolling stream
greens of fields,blues of water..and reds of fiery screams
sadness on the surface,depth among to those who picture
peace on earth by the kind who pray and long for unsubscripture
only those who can take deep into the paper and see an image
the picture speaks a thousand words to those who care to envisage
a picture painted with changes of mind state,from hate to love
to each viewer a different view to each before and above
the picture lays bare in the gallery,amongst crowds abiding stare
each reading deep into state of mind,every part of lifes desires to dare
 
Old 06-23-04, 01:13 AM   #7
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 3240 794D

good topical piece t-storm uppin for votes ~!1!~
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Old 06-23-04, 04:13 AM   #8
t-storm
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: england
votes plz!!

IP: 6AD2 8F43

get sum votes in here peeps......................
nice topical flow..................................
UPPIN!
 
Old 06-23-04, 04:50 PM   #9
t-storm
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: england
IP: 6AD2 8F43

upin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,cumon tight battle this....................................
 
Old 06-24-04, 08:55 AM   #10
t-storm
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: england
IP: 6AD2 8F43

can we get a fuckin vote in here plz!!............................................. .........
 
Old 06-24-04, 09:04 PM   #11
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: C1DA C961

uppin for votes will return the favor ~!1!~
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Old 06-25-04, 02:04 AM   #12
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 4289 77F4

uppin for votes willr eturn the favor ~!1!~
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Old 06-25-04, 02:28 AM   #13
Ca'lam
The Light
 
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From: Saint Louis
IP: 9EB8 D17E

wow...i admire battles like this... i loved reading both of yours.
T-storm- your vocabulary was quite enticing.. extensive array of words you used..

Flow-your flow was amazing in that second verse... wow.. to me the flow and wordplay was enuff to sway my vote..

there were to many awsome things about both your verses to point out..

storm:had vocab aspect

flow: ironicly had flow catagory, and word arrangement(im wanting to say word play =/ )..

v/FLow.. amazing battle you two!
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Old 06-25-04, 11:51 AM   #14
white-ice
Banned
 
From: leeds,england
ok

IP: 6AD2 8F43

first off.great verses by both........

t-storm...wordplay 9/10
structure 8/10
imagery 9/10
flow 7.5/10
enjoyment 8.5/10
overall-42/50- very nice piece...flow cud be beta..apart from that great imagery and wordplay

flow-wordplay 8/10
structure 8/10
imagery 8/10
flow 8.5/10
enjoyment 8/10
overall-40.5 /10-very strong verse,u had bit beta flow,but i felt t`s a bit more,overall t gets my vote 4 more creativity/imagery
 
Old 06-25-04, 03:30 PM   #15
FlowIntelligent.
The Epitome Of Greatness
 
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From: NY ... Born And Raised
IP: 3240 794D

good look on feedback uppin for more votes ~!1!~
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