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New to RV
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Pain
IP: 6EE9 4719
With the cuttin silver rain I can feel the pain in my viens
I'm kneelin down prayin waitin for a change Time awaistin keep my head up time for chasing No more breakin for now on it's nothin but takin In my eyes I see nothin but lying Lil children cryin because they parents dyin One life the pigs tryin to take mines behind da lines with a nine in my face get ready to dye my blood splats like mace now I end up in my grave dead sleepin forever in my enternal bed love ones left to mourn how long will they gone on without the love from they boy |
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 3240 794D
This was a short emotional drop, work on spelling and structure a bit, but other then that, leaves me with some questions though,because it seems the content was changing a bit every line, the topic would shift, i'm not sure if you were upset and just wanted to drop something quick, or what, but i liked it for a first poem, well i'm considering its your first since your new here, but try to stay on topic as well too, but keep it up!!!!
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D ![]() ![]() *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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