RapVerse.com Community - H-N-I-C vs artÃstica~Mente

06-08-05, 05:05 PM

#16

H-N-I-C

Light Weight

IP: 3240 794D

Uppin again............................................

06-08-05, 09:36 PM

#17

Dervla

Poet's Daughter.

IP: 1DCE 52A0

Bump this up................................................ ............

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Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
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Smartone Freal:

ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
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06-08-05, 10:56 PM

#18

Â¤ÃÃ…Å¾Â¤

leave you rest'n pz's

IP: 7A28 7D1E

Voted For: artÃ-stica~Mente

tweety- as follows are my fav bars
.
As i smell the free non-populated air, I'm free, free from the abyss
The scars will heal. My tears are dry, and the whips will be perish
Finally getting myself and my daughter out of that house of hell
With a divorce papers in my hand, i knew everything in
.................................................. ........................near future will go well
My life changed forever once i got in that car, and drove off with my mom
With my window down, sun shining, the branches on the tree's staying strong
I felt the uneasinessâ€˜, the ache in my stomach, as the nervousnessâ€™ crept
While i saw him in a police car, his face, o thy horrible face I will never forget

overall i wasnt feeling the structure but lookin beyond that you had great imagery n feelin in ya drop, some real emotion was protrayed in those bars i put uyp there, n the ending was pretty dope but i think you wouldve benifited from exploring the abuse ect that the child suffered, good drop, work on your text flow but you got most the rest on lock...good drop/............Daz
.
.
.
hnic- the followin are my fav bars
"You knock me up and don't have the decency to marry me?"
Then she'll go on and on about the nine months she carried me
I'm an individual, but not so different u see
Cuz there's a million other kids who've lived tha same life as me
.
overall, good grasp of the story n topic you protrayed..
i wouldve liked to see a little more emotion throughout the bars but it was heartfelt, although, you had the amount of lines to try n tell a more indepth story but you seemed to kinda ramble on at points..nontheless, good drop...Daz
.
.

__________________
i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!

06-09-05, 07:48 AM

#19

Dervla

Poet's Daughter.

IP: 6061 4B9A

^^ Thanx for the honest vote....Upppin for some more damn votes......

06-09-05, 10:40 AM

#20

E.C

Evolution

From: u.k

IP: 0DD2 7DAA

Voted For: artÃ-stica~Mente

damn tweety u got this batle easy your first stanza or w/e u call em merked the other guys... no offence man.. but still.

h-n-i-c:

i think u are new to topicals if you are then i aint gonna shout lol i thought this was good for a new topical, emotion was there, vocab wasn't that good and i lost track about 2 times in your verse, you need to work on your structure coz it was messed up... other than that it was ok, you will elevate with some time just keep practising man you'll get it soon.

Tweety:

dam son this shiot was deep lol, almost depressing i liked the way u flipped it with the mother and daughter shit that was good... emotion was realll deep in this one and your vocab was good aswell... your my new favourite topical writer after this one man, good job with this here is a line that i think stood out from the others...

The blood leaked from her face, the ribs showing that she hasn't eaten for days
I knew I regret this, by not looking between the "she deserve it" catch phrase
^^ this was deep and dark, like she been neglected

real dope verse fam good loooks pz

v/ tweety for having a deeper/ better verse had a better understanding of the topica and also had better vocab...

pz no hate

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E.C- Untitled

06-09-05, 10:51 AM

#21

King Solo

Skadoosh!

IP: D1BF FA16

Voted For: artÃ-stica~Mente

nice drop.........

small font is hard to read though.....

structure was nice, ya whole verse flowed well from beginning to end and ya had a nice overall feel to the verse, approached the topic well and stayed on point throughout, didnt come at all basic with the vocabs, a nice depiction of the topic and i think the whole way you flipped it from mother to daughter was cool, also used some old english text in there which i liked, i think it added a little more feeling to the parts.....overall 8/10

HNIC
not a bad drop.....
structure was aight but cud use work, still the whole verse flowed well...i do think that you lacked direction in places and tended to slip away from the overall verse, it was more like a mixed verse to me, you started off dope with complexity and good feeling depicting a nice image of the topic, but near to the middle it got more basic and fell off which is what i think ruined ya verse....if ya wud've stayed more consistent i think you would have stood a better chance.....6/10

V/ - Tweety (aka artistica mente)

RTF!! on the dizzee rascal battle!!!

__________________

06-09-05, 10:54 AM

#22

Dervla

Poet's Daughter.

IP: 6061 4B9A

Alright consider a favor being returned....................Uppin

06-09-05, 04:21 PM

#23

H-N-I-C

Light Weight

IP: 0825 899A

Well, damn...it's about time...preciate tha honesty...............uppin

06-09-05, 04:25 PM

#24

Dervla

Poet's Daughter.

IP: 6061 4B9A

^^ Yeah....YO H-N-I-C- you want to close this battle?..............its an 3-0 KO

>>>>>>?????

06-09-05, 04:27 PM

#25

Daubs

NO SURRENDER

From: Salford

IP: 828D 0B7A

Voted For: artÃ-stica~Mente

Yeah, tweety be sick with topicals.

both had a nice flow and decent vocab. but i managed to get more involved in tweetys, nice structure and a good story line in the backing.

HNIC yours was good dont get me wrong, you have a lot of potential but you need to make it deeper in the future.

NO hate, tweety RTF in sig within 3 days!!

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06-09-05, 05:08 PM

#26

Restricted

DaTrus Is A Bitch!

From: Pittsburgh, PA

IP: E5EB 11E6

Voted For: artÃ-stica~Mente

Aight Its Like This..

H-N-I-C:

I Was Feeling Your Piece A Lot. Your Vocabulary Was Potent and Your Imagery Was On Topic, but Your Emotion and Direction Is What I Thought Lacked. A Lot of Fillers Within Your Verse That Kept Beating Around The Bush and I Felt Your Emotion Wasn't There. That Was Your Only Downfall.

Tweety:

Aight, Well Yours Was Almost The Complete Opposite of H-N-I-Cs. Your Direction and Emotion Was Fabulous but Your Vocabulary Lacked A Lot. You Get My Vote Because Your Imagery Was Consistent and You Took 3 of The 4 Categories That I Look For When I Vote.

Vote - Tweety For More Emotion, Direction, and Imagery.

~R~

View Poll Results: H-N-I-C vs artÃ-stica~Mente
H-N-I-C	0	0%
artÃ-stica~Mente	5	100.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

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