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Old 06-24-05, 06:33 PM   #16
MsBoOtYpHaT4U69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.

^^^^^
TY FOR DA LOVE DRAMA QUEEN...STAY UP MA
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Old 06-24-05, 06:33 PM   #17
MsBoOtYpHaT4U69
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Ty Ya'll For Ya Feed Back!
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Old 06-24-05, 07:03 PM   #18
M-Eazy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Uhm it's an aight piece but guys be pussyriding like whoa haha...

Imagery was good, describing everything in a uhm clear way I guess, you said it straight forward. Emotion was best in the last lines where you say to be careful as if you were a china doll. It was a decent piece but you might try to keep more mysterious vibe and reword some shit so it gets a more poetic vibe.


...Pussy rides me.
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Old 06-24-05, 08:01 PM   #19
Payn
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well i don't need those directions cuz i already know ya body real well ma J/K but naw on tha real i like diz piece alot it has da depth & all sexual tents dat makes a good sex pieces
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