RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > New Release Songs
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-01-06, 12:30 PM   #1
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
Joined: Feb 2006
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 7-1
COME BACK inspired by proof

IP: 9C2B 06EC

yea with proof dying i just started to think about death n shit....then this beat came on my playlist and it inspired me to write this song....tell me what you think

COME BACK - http://www.soundclick.com/bands/son...&songID=3870085






http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2733074 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227452
__________________



well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


  Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-06, 02:39 PM   #2
J Summers
...
 
J Summers's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,312
Joined: Aug 2004
From: Michigan
Status: Offline
IP: E8B4 945F

beat sounds kinda cool......at the beginin.....

lyrics...is dope... very emotional...very deep.. yet pretty bumpable.. i love your delivery... your hoook is dope on this too....
i really liked the last verse....like ya lil tribute to the passed...good shit j
good ass track 8/10...
__________________
southbeachmiamiho
Send a message via AIM to J Summers Send a message via MSN to J Summers   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-06, 10:16 PM   #3
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
Joined: Feb 2006
Status: Offline
Audio Record: 7-1
IP: 9C2B 06EC

uppin' for feed peoples i WILL RETURN FEED so get at me if you want some on your song
__________________



well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


  Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-06, 10:41 PM   #4
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

ok playing.


like the way the beat comes in...
intro's cool.
"your the one they want"
^flow fucked up on that, aswell as a coupel of other spots.
emotion is good.
"heaven they are lasted"
^flow fucked up on that aswell.
main problem is flow in this bro, will be a dope track with a more constant spit in it.
Soun sliek you kinda dont know the rhyme yet, still reading it sorta ish.

good track though.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-06, 09:43 AM   #5
ILL GEE
ILL GRAMMATIX... any other questions?
 
ILL GEE's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,335
Joined: Jul 2005
From: ATL..still reppin' NYC
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 1-1
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: FEAC 2479

agrees with ysdat... the message in the song is dope but ya flow takes away from it alil.... work on that... beat is cool... when ya do ya hook ya gotta make it stand out more... it's like the verse and the hook kinda sound the same if ya catch what i'm saying.... the only reason i can tell it's da hook is because of the repetition... this song could be so much better if you put more feeling into it... ya words are powerful enough but it's not enough if it doesn't sound like you REALLY GOING THROUGH IT while you're saying it, nah mean?....

track coulda been about 8.5 from me but it loses a point for ineffective emotional output... SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, HOMIE!!!..lol


7.5
__________________

CLICK DA SIGGY




"real recognize real but still others remain jaded
believing bullshit accounts of how "so-and-so" made it
there's a formula for gimmick emcees that are over-rated:
wackness created... payola paid it... and radio overplayed it"
Send a message via AIM to ILL GEE Send a message via Yahoo to ILL GEE   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.