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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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View Poll Results: What needs most improving | |||
grammer |
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0 | 0% |
structure |
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1 | 50.00% |
length |
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1 | 50.00% |
fine as is |
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0 | 0% |
Voters: 2. You may not vote on this poll |
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In the Depths of my Eye
IP: 4577 CD9A
You see me, look the other way & you don't/ Acknowledge my smile, but in other ways you won't/ You hold me, naturally I know your there/ Staring into ones eyes make me question how much you really care/ As time progresses I see your effortless ways/ The love I have for you has evolved, into a helpless gaze/ You've tainted my mind/ Robbed my godess of her fruit/ Wasted my time so I define you as thy blinded brute/ Bearing the fact that now you must leave, batters my heart for there is so much I want to give & recieve/ In a relationship I need affection/ But you couldn't possibly give with your life in the wrong direction/ I took a deep breath and gave you time/ While all along I saw our relationship dying/ I sacrificed my all, gave my mind & once I'm gone you'll soon realize that me, ya girl .......was one of a kind// Let me know wha'chu think but please don't be brutal if the poem need be criticized Last edited by Truthful State : 03-03-03 at 09:57 PM. |
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Guest
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IP: 19BE C480
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Guest
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IP: BFE5 28C7
I dunno..
...i mean even though technically i felt it had some flaws.. ..when i first read it, i got caught up in it...maybe it's the personal depth...i dunno...but you captured some emotions real good.. ....nice...for sure... ....respect... |
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