|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-05-03, 12:18 PM
|
#1
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
KEYSTYLE! A Climber's Passion
IP: 804C A7CD
I awoke to poison and inprisoned upon the scars of my flesh-
compressed my soul by cold chains and the brains that mutter stress- gasping for breath my soul kept fighting, climbing to the top- the loft was the breeding grounds for thought but inside I was caught- I walked to the point of no return, burned from the light I yearned- learned that the light on the shelf was filled with pain permed with the air- I tried to grow wings to escape the hell that dwell, grounded by thin hairs- compared to the angels that swear their wings gleam, beam in pairs- I walked to the top of the peir, eagle eye visioned collision with my thoughts- well I thought I could escape but behind these eyes is the seat I bought... {style switch} I never know about my title bouts, never met myself in my whereabouts- I scream and shout, I keep on foot on the ground and care about my doubts- I visit infinity and frequently talk to reality to beg them why I am left with him- blame them for how the skimmed every ounce of limb of the body and it's rims- to a degree I fight and fee poundering the ideas of this man and how me hinders me- planting schemes on beds of dreams dread the theme of the reoccuring sheen- I can't imagine myself without a rope to climb to the top of this living life- time can blind around the mind, would I do it to escape again, I won't think twice.... love... |
||||||
|
|
04-05-03, 01:52 PM
|
#2
|
||||||
|
PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
kid this shits really well written and all.....jus i kept gettin lost on what u were sayin.......u got nice skills....jus the point kept losin me......first verse seems real poetic though
|
||||||
|
|
|
04-05-03, 10:58 PM
|
#3
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 872B E5DF
this aint a key LOL the vocab is to big to be a key, if your really that good, id like to see something when you sit down and take the time to write. this was nice but i dont beleave it was a key
|
||||||
|
|
|
04-06-03, 03:47 PM
|
#4
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 11FF B2FE
actually man, this was a key, something like a fifteen minute free, but on a GENERAL TOPIC, but yeah most of the stuff I write is done without revising, so I consider that a key...
I should try that someday though, thanks for the reply man... love.. |
||||||
|
|
|
04-06-03, 03:55 PM
|
#5
|
|||||
|
Flyweight
|
IP: D149 91AE
yea...Well, i'm here from another site...just looking at other sites...I am a very critical person...and here goes my two cents...
This was a very good piece...so obviously pre-written, so the good thing was that you were able to re-read, and edit. There's nothing worse than reading verses with mispelling and punctuation errors. This is raw emotion, and you let it flow nicely. Honestly, I would say this is on the more poetic side. I'm happy you're not writing like some of these fools here...guns, girls, money, fame...all the materialistic bullshit. I like this alot... I would quote some lines...but that would just flood this thread... OVERALL: tight piece, keep up...just give it your all.
__________________
My conscience was fucking with me...so I shot it |
|||||
|
|
|
04-06-03, 06:06 PM
|
#6
|
|||||||
|
one wink
|
IP: D27D 0B18
1 thing...Why flaunt it being a key? I don't get it...
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
04-06-03, 06:38 PM
|
#7
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 11FF B2FE
^ my job here is done!
thanks for the reply man, no I don't really care it is considered a key or not, that's just pointless, but thanks for the love.. love.. |
||||||
|
|
|
04-07-03, 02:17 PM
|
#8
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 285E 5718
up we go into the wild blue yander!
love... |
||||||
|
|
|
04-07-03, 02:34 PM
|
#9
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 072B 152E
Yea this was tight. why do people care so much whether it was a keystyle or not. Ya vocab was straight and ya topic though confusaing had sum tight imagery. maybe ya rhyme scheme sumtimes was a bit off or at least simplified. anyway this was tight
RETURN THE FAVOR AND CHECK MINE BANGKOK BUSINESS AIGHT ONE |
||||||
|
|
|
04-07-03, 02:48 PM
|
#10
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 1769 3B0F
I THINK YOU HAVE A REMARKABLE TALENT KEEP FEEDING IT
|
||||||
|
|
|
04-07-03, 06:51 PM
|
#11
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 9B91 D0C6
I Believe You Bro....
 This Isn't Exactly Tha Hardest Thing In Tha World To Key So Shoosh People..LmaO It Was Very Dope None Tha Less.. Always Keep Writing Bro UPPPPPPPPPP WEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOO |
||||||
|
|
|
04-08-03, 01:30 PM
|
#12
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: 804C A7CD
lol@N-Demik
true, I don't care if it's keyed or not, thanks for the love man, it's apperciated...whens your key dropping by the way? love... |
||||||
|
|
|
04-08-03, 01:44 PM
|
#13
|
||||||
|
Guest
|
IP: A75D 4122
nice spit rhombus,i got the topic straight off,like the loft part of the first verse,i thoguht maybe the scond verse was a little off the topic of the first,but maybe htats the way you wanted it i dont know,i dont know why people are on about the if its keyed or not shit,it dont matta,just coz you got som e nice vocab in there dont mean you cant write shit like that without having to go back,shit was tight rhombus,liked it alot..peep mey shit sometime in open mice...
bismillah |
||||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
