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Old 05-05-03, 01:33 AM   #1
Artikqlit
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Racism

IP: 5153 3B92

Quick...10 min freestyle (10 bars)

Alotta timez peeps mistake racism for whites juss hatin on blacks//
but if a kracka's dressed ghetto…they're wearin tha rong slacks?//
Racism iz on both sidez…not juss tha known frat//
Started wit tha whites nd tha colors striked back//
Ion see why we can't accept a person fo who they exact//
As a country, we needa elap, formin 1 undefeatable tap//(clique/crew)
Government ensured us of racial equality…still nothin like that//
Them assclowns fucked us over again…we got 'bitch slapped'//
but that's not tha point…blacks n whites should learn ta live togetha//
In this world it rains, snows n hails…Togetha = no matta tha weatha//

Btw, i'm black...
Gimme some feedback plz
-Thanks
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Old 05-05-03, 02:28 AM   #2
tRiLL
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well good topic wack rhyme
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Old 05-05-03, 02:34 AM   #3
Artikqlit
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iight...we'll see wut others think
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Old 05-05-03, 02:45 AM   #4
Tonya~Montana
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you know thats was a nice rhyme to me...it was'nt that deep but you got ya point across.... I feel it....
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Old 05-05-03, 02:46 AM   #5
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Wasnt too bad but it will make you a better rapper to rhyme by syllabals instead of shit that just sounds nice.
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Old 05-05-03, 02:49 AM   #6
Artikqlit
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iight..Thanks fa the feedback nd tha advice
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Old 05-05-03, 08:49 AM   #7
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good topic, which is the most important aspect of writing rhymes. but in terms of lyrical content and length it needs improving.
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Old 05-05-03, 08:56 AM   #8
WORD~PERFECT
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flow there
topic there
content loacked but was worth reading
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Old 05-05-03, 09:17 AM   #9
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.It's O.k..

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This joint was o.k., a little basic on the vocabulary. Like man before me said, it's a good topic. Just work on your vocab. Make a little longer too...
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Old 05-05-03, 09:29 AM   #10
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coo' drop fam

what u said was true just thro some multies in there next time man u know we got this on lock
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Old 05-05-03, 07:13 PM   #11
Artikqlit
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Thanks peepz..this wuz just a 10 min key i wrote in science class...it wuz meant ta be "short"
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Old 05-05-03, 09:13 PM   #12
Artikqlit
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uppin..want more feedback
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Old 05-06-03, 10:01 PM   #13
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that shit was weak....and BTW..... im black 2
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Old 05-07-03, 12:39 AM   #14
Artikqlit
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Yea ok...
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Old 05-07-03, 12:58 AM   #15
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Wasnt feelin this drop ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i seen u do better legend , , ,oh yeah i kno why this drop is whack , , because it was a 10min key
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