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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-07-03, 04:25 PM
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#1
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Guest
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The light (Quick poem)
IP: EDAF 43CC
Heres a quick poem I wrote in school in a matter of bout 3 minutes
Any feedback wanted The days fly-by makin me wish I could rewind time// Like Im standing on two mines set to go off in my mind// Im about to explode on my life,a road to predition// And I cant find any answers,like the code of competition// I feel like Im fighting death,and the light is blinding my eyes// And I cant find the time to re-reign and back-up rise// So I give-up,time is up,Im finished at last// And what once was a "present" to the Earth,is now in the past// The rhyming is anything but great but...no matter how crap you think it is.....it still has meaning...any feedback is wanted PZZ |
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05-07-03, 04:50 PM
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#2
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Jee-You Knit?
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IP: F75A 411A
I like it, I think you should feed off it, and go farter and deeper into it, good start, yo could you peep my shit, What's it for?, Thanks man!
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<table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>MadMan</table>
-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-  Throw Back .Compton Records. .Vicious Determination. "There are times when silence has the loudest voice" - Mike Bibby The First Ever Middle Weight Champion |
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05-07-03, 04:51 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: EDAF 43CC
^^Ya I might go further into it if I get some more feedback^^
Depends what feedback I get PZZ |
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