RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-02-03, 07:35 PM   #1
MeX
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
part of my life prt1

IP: 5785 FEB4

Heres my second rap. LEts see if i do better

Yo this story is about a kid named chad/
when he was small he looked up to his dad/
he wanted to be a farmer and live off the land/
until one day his father wooped him with his hand/
this confused the child and he could not understand/
what drove his dad crazy and to go mad and he promised himself he would not be like his dad/
now at age 17 hes filled with anger and rage/
hoping to put his feelings down on the page/
but with his rage he tends to not use his brain and it tends to bring him pain/
tends to drive him insain/
where he things his only family lies in his gang/
till one day he beats a kid with a chain/
and the though of jail brings back his pain/
his parents are mad that their boy is bad/
and the boy relizes he turned out like his dad/

hit me up and tell me what you think. i hope im getting better.

Last edited by MeX : 06-02-03 at 07:39 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-03, 07:38 PM   #2
Reno Starr
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CBA6 C522

Its aight, ya still need to grow in vocab, and ya have small spelling errors that I can see to this one, so you may wanna edit it and fix them up..but other than that its aight for me.

R.x Out
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-03, 10:01 PM   #3
C-Section
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 872B E5DF

you need to elevate your vocab, your rhyming one syllable words, it gets boring after a while, cause you could predict what you are going to say.....you had a nice idea it was just to simple
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-03, 01:52 AM   #4
Bash
BANNED for biting
 
Posts: 2,155
Joined: Apr 2003
From: BronX
Status: Offline
Text Record: 18-8
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Re: part of my life prt1

IP: FF98 53B8

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MeX
[B]Heres my second rap. LEts see if i do better

Yo this story is about a kid named chad/
when he was small he looked up to his dad/
he wanted to be a farmer and live off the land/
until one day his father wooped him with his hand/
QUOTE]
^^hahahahah..........Tha last line was funny......I kno that this freestyle wasnt suppose to be funny.........But da last line was funny...................hahaha...............And one more thing ......This drop dont need vocab because its about ur life
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:09 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.