another patriotic poem about war.

The creases of the battle hardened,
The sea of blood upon the ground,
A gun in the hands of a warrior,
The dead and dying countless,
A war fought to ensure freedom,
The living noble rise in triumph,
The dead lay in sacrifice,
Millions have died so billions could live,
I wish I could have been there,
I know I would not have fled,
Hopefully I would have been one of the living,
But I would be proud to be one of the dead.

nice,
could be better if it was a little longer,
you captured the feelings well,
nice job everall
peace

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and we are the dreamers of dreams.

nice opening....starting it by the setting is really good..props!




deep!...i liked how the way u describe this.."...dying countless"..i loved that one...it's quite strong..just basically stood out



vocabulary is well used in here...i liked it!




good message...i liked how the way you made the reader understand the importance of those ppl who died



hmmm pretty interesting...teh courage and determinationn..it showed on here...love it



these last few lines are definitely my fave from all of them...just makes me feel soo proud of all those ppl who died for our country...


good job...like a tribute to all those who sacrficed their lives for their country...nice work!

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

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^^what the hell are u doin? fuckin freeposter. I am gonna report this, bitch. damn newbies fuckin freepost everywhere.

yo i thought this was a deep post nice choice of words keep this up kid
holla back sheck my shit out for me

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=60515

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shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun