Artist: Eyedeal aka: "Verbal Shells", "Verballyill", "Tha Prominence"
Song: Secound Hand Smoke
AIM: PoeticThreat

yo yo i suffer trauma, by both ways// i feel i got asthma, when am smokin// i enjoy inhaling cronic// even though the lungs aint flawless// i still smoke, until am unconsious// until i provoke, to become demonikk// load up the cartridge// and let the gunn blow to injure, your cartilage// let it be insured, evryone around me is a target// once am high thats regarding// also the weapon that be capable of sparking// to much urge of weed, shooties is started// emerge from another breed, that am heartless// once few blunts are overwhelmed// my mentality proceeds, to become retarted// and i cant overcome being rebelled// not feeling incarcerated, but as if am levitating, off the haze that be very swell// due to money that be never evading// pass the blunt to nefarious (my brother) cauz am too high// feel like i got butterflies, up in my stomach// the weed leaves me capable to die, but i still love it// let the smoke cluster my lungs until am done with it// and then freestlye "off with my head" like the beatnutts and pun did it// then am committed, to pass the blunt to my niggas// the one that keep that weed babysitted// but we have plenty peeps// and many trees// that people will forfeit, the blunts that be lit// secound hand smoke no camping or nigger licks// until the pipe leaves us dismissed// or until the roach clip is extinguished//

booo that shit didnt even rhyme right mostly

uh...i didn't like it at all..hmm..lines didn't flow right together..maybe thats how i was readin it...keep them comin tho kid...tha more u write..tha better you get..God bless..1.

FUCK U IZZZZZ it did rhyme. unless u don`t know how to read.

^^don't be like that,^^

Rhyming/Flow
Flow Was Non-EXistant, RHymings Was ALMOST Non-Existant, You Had A Few Words That Sort Of Rhymed: "HIGH", n' "Die".....Up You Flow With Multi's, Although I THought THis Bar Was Ok: " feel like i got butterflies, up in my stomach// the weed leaves me capable to die, but i still love it//"....2/10

Vocab/Wordplay
You have A Decent Amount Of Vocab, Well I Say Decent! Up It, Read The Dictionary Or Something....2/10

Concept/Topic
Couldn't Really See A Topioc That You Stayed ON, Elevate This..1/10

Overall
Elevate On The Following: - Flow (Learn About mUlti's)
- Vocab (Expand It)
-Topic (Pick A Topic That You Can relate To)
...1.8/10

whutevr thanks for the info thow which was cruel as fuck. i read my lyrics fast thats why for some people didnt understand it. with an instrumental it would have been more clear of whut i meant and how it rhymed.

wuNN

^dude, Don't Say Cruel - Say Constructive^

this is the truth to people who rated my shyt or even commented

first of all i dunt see how u people said it didnt rhyme, i mean u gotta be ignorant not to see that. then i stayed in the topic of smoking, evrything of smoking. then u said upgrade vocab... i do upgrade it in other text but u peeps upgrade ure vocab so much people dunt kno whut the fuck ure talking about. and their amazed at only of how it rhymes but not whut it saids. and u actually score me some low ass points wtf. if u hav such bad comments for me its better if u shut up.... cauz i dunt appreciate ure hints and help. cauz honestly dont like ure style of rhyming...

^Your gonna Go far On This Site With An Attitude like That^ NOte: The Sarcastic Tone..lol