Im bored so ima type sum quik shit up...

Tha net game is way different than tha actual thing
So y'all niggaz on here sportin internet bling/
Wastin time on stupid shit and not gettin noticed
And bored as hell like I was when I wrote this/
Tha time has come for me to write for real
Lay my thoughts down and letcha know tha deal/
I dont need a ghost writer and I dont need to bite
That's why sum of u weak niggaz be soundin real tight/
Why dont u evacuate and just never return
And let tha feelin of u busted in ur mind just burn/
Think before you react to tha words I say
Let them boggle wit ur mind and leave ur fingers to play/
I'll admit... I write gangsta shit a lot
But when I write, its nothin more than just a thought/
I know the structures fucked up but y'know its fine
Cause Im talkin real shit... let it sink in ur mind/
I know Im not motivational speaker so dont talk
Instead stand up and from ur c.p.u., just walk/
Speaking openly on the way ppl act
To sum shit on tha net, U dont need to react/
1st time on here that i didnt write violent
Tha evil side of me... Suddenly... went si..lent/
I keep a steady pace and succeed in life
That leads to havin money and a workin wife/
This is my way of pointin out lames
That stay on tha net playin stupid ass games/
Period ended... and its time for me to be out
1 dawg... 1 love... and this one is out.../

Feedback on boredom.

1st time on here that i didnt write violent
Tha evil side of me... Suddenly... went si..lent/

easliy my fav line
overall this was good...since u talked about the structure i wont... the vocab was was good but could have been better... you should have wrote this during 4th, fixed it during 5th and droped it at lunch...

7/10 stay up

hot ish

I liked this shit a lot. Its cool how you can make a flow that fast and it can come up overall good. i thought the flow was real good and i really enjoyed the overall feeling of it.

ova all it wos o.k, but ya use of vocab could have been better, maybe movin away from 1 silable words. thought the message was abit weak.

I know but when im bored my vocab is kinda down. But thanx for ur feedback. Uppin.

O and Realist, my school is startin to act gay so i couldnt stay to fix it. Plus Ima do that in audio. Ima have it up this weekend. Check out sum of my audios on www.soundclick.com/wanteddoarecords. Tha oldest ones are at tha very bottom and my most recent ones are on the top.

forbein a lazy bastered it was good LOL just messin man, the vocab was alright the flow seemed a lil off at times but you made it work near the end a lil better, i think you should have added one or two multies in prolly wud'a made the concept come out a little more all in al man...good drop 7.5 peace...yo check my collab wit puglist..."my book of rhymes"

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

aight i'll check that out b4 i get offline. Uppin.

ill shit,came off nice,structure was off,vocab was aiight,easy to follow, good for boredom,keep spittin.~1~