bitches runnin on the streets all fake/
they actin a gangsta with all the shit they take/
this whole world is so hypocritical it aint even funny/
people makin everything hollywood like its a comedy/
everything these days are tragedies and so much drama/
but no one likes real they want to be fictitious like everythings perfect/
fuck all you that try to be perfect that cannot protect what they per-fect/
cause problems intersect and interfere with what you wanna do/
this shit just makes your whole life all screwed/
all you do is get booed cause you just lossed/
you criss crossed the wrong track with too much of a cost/
you wasted all the shit you had by trying to fix but your life is all mixed/
you get all pissed and get banned on the list like everything you wanted you missed/
youd rather make a commit to slit yo wrist and getting punched by a fist/
you feel so mad that you harm yourself and forget your life/
youd rather threat yoself with a knife/
you standin there all night long thinkin what you gonna do next/
do i do it or write this in text or just end up all confused and refuse to kill yoself cause you know its wrong/
you gotta stay strong and beat all that you can take/
its all over now its time to relax /
your up in the clouds lookin over as you have past/

__________________
It doesnt matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart

- michael jordan

I am gonna be what i wanna be, but not just what i wanna be but what i am.

- 2hot2handle(myself)

kinda simple man...
feeling your topic, liked the concept...
but I wasn't feeling the flow that much, it was kinda on and off... some parts flowed better than others...
you could add stronger vocab here...
I thought it was aight...

-1-

Yeah, this was real simple, short and to the point, i didnt really like the topic, its a little played to be honest and been done many a time before, flow was there for the most part, it got a lottle choppy towards the body of the verse but not too much, vocab could of been a little better, id of prefered more structure in the rhyme scheme rather than just the externals rhyming but it wasnt too bad.

Eace-Pay!

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

uppin for more critiquing here

__________________
It doesnt matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart

- michael jordan

I am gonna be what i wanna be, but not just what i wanna be but what i am.

- 2hot2handle(myself)

simple piece right here...coulda used better vocab and flow....lackin a bit of originality....i dont like how u went off on the lines and just rhymed the words at the end...a little more creativity should do some good...


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