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[Wk2] Phrantik vs Understatement
IP: A9A7 727D
Verses Due: Thursday October 15th Voting Ends: Sunday October 18th Topic: One Sided Coin
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
faced with decisions.. insides churn
i flip the coin and watch it turn roatating slightly spinning its tale telling a story, of how i will fail day in day out.. i must find my escape head to head with change, its no mistake i choose not to gamble, i let fate by my guide i wage war with my coins, but not pick a side i dont choose my choices..as time flys by i want to tear reality apart, but i just cant cry endless hopes, lead my infinite desire and i live standing up, but always a liar. to die or to live, escape lifes immortal grief i ask my coin but it does not speak no answer for me? coins DO have two sides (?).. but my coin has become me, and i cant decide my coin with one side, a believer? he must he looked straight at me and said.. "in god we trust" prolly didnt put in enough effor but im tired.. just read it and find the deeper meanin in almost every second line.
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-Word for Word-
Last edited by Phrantik : 10-16-03 at 05:28 PM. |
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IP: A9A7 727D
Flip, Catch, Flip, Catch The Coin In My Palm
Symbolism On It's Sides, As In A Biblical Psalm Is It Wrong To Hate The Hands That Feeds? The Game Is Over, I'm Forced To Concede That The Grey Area Grows With Each Poem Block With A Stone And Measure It In Ohms And The Sight Grows Dim, Chances Grow Slim Landing On The Same Side, Cleaner Than Vim No Foul Play Here, No Monks Praying Here The Coins Rotation Is Summit Of All The Fears Everything We Stood For Is On The First Side And Everything We Hate Follows And Derives The Terms By Which We Will Live From Now On What Do We Stand For? Nationalism Is Gone When It All Ends, We're Stuck Along For The Ride I Can't Even Flip My Coin, It's Only Got One Side ahhh
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
no votes.. wtf?
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-Word for Word-
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
ima go with understatement .
he stayed with the coin theme throughtout his verse. tik came ok.. ive seen that emotion a lot before though.. i liked ya closer, US and the coins rotation line. "i flip the coin and watch it turn".. simple but good line tik. keep it simple. its better to read good simple verses with understanding in them than failed attempts at wordplay and punches. |
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
I thought understatement's verse was more involved, but I prefered the execution of Phrantik's more. I enjoyed the dashes of wordplay, and a consistent emotion. He alluded to the multiple facets of wordage one could have with "coin". It was subtle and light, but kept ahold of a strong purpose. Never a heavy feeling of textceeing.
Vote - Phrantik |
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Guest
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IP: 3A76 93FE
Quote:
Tik. Your verse was interesting, the way u wrote was really different from others. I liked the way u took the topic and what u made of it, ur flow was decent also. Just felt like it was short, for some reason I think u could of gone alot farther, but it was good. . Quote:
I like how you came with this, u really exceeded vocab wise & ur flow was dope. When u began the peice I was like 'whoa' this is gonna be good, i was dragged in by the begining. Vote - Understatement |
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
2-1..
laryan, thanks for the input and lettin me know what you thought of the wordplay.. feeble, stop writing if you think i should keep it simple.. how'd you become a mod, your a pathetic excuse for a writer.. keeping my thoughts deep and looking for the pun in things is one of the main things i do in my verses, well now thats all i do seeing everyone jacked my flip story steeze... but seriously.. tellin me to keep it basic cause your an idiot, doesnt put you very high on my 'people to pay attention to list' i bet you rap about drugs and hustlers.. net thug... keep it simple.. fuck off.
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-Word for Word-
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[.Eclipse.]
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IP: 90A0 94DE
phrantik u came nice, great even. Really good stuff but I just really feel that understatement murdered his shit. I would give him a 9.5 out of 10
Quote:
vote - understatement
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1st Battle In Legends Bars Of War - Champ L.L.L. - Former HWeight Champ S.S. - Hall Of Fame The Eclipse... |
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Vote - understate
Feld he was more on topic and expressed better,... nice vocab,..good flow, both came nice, ....under edge Tik, ..
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Fuck you |
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De M-O-D Bruk
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IP: 3B20 6C52
first Off....Feeble Your Fuckin delusional man...Keep it Simple? Wow. Why are you in SS?
Tik: Good Verse...You Did The Topic Well..Seemed a Little Week in Some Spots but nothing too major. Under: Good Verse as well. I just felt it alot better... both of you guys had brilliant closing but Under gets the edge with some good topical stuff
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It's Gunna Be Some Stuff You Gon' See, That's Gunna Make It Hard To Smile In Da Future...
-Pac Shakur Acro Nim The Initial,Period I Speak Out Battles Pink Slips 007 Pt. 2 Fuck Bruklor aka Self.
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IP: A9A7 727D
badges? we don't need no stinking badges!
[closed]
__________________
Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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