yo yo uh

this game is really scrutinizing, bad for ur health
cuz i aint gotta say shit, money speaks for itself
im the sickest ass 14 yr old, been there done em
and if m. jackson came on a lollipop u'd probly suck em
i was flippin the chains, gettin the brains,
cuz my illz got so sick they thought i was insane
they sent me to the clinic, but the meds r workin
the creepers stay lurkin, the hatas stay jerkin
see i've eatin more sushi than a 10 yr chinese
see some so thin they strectch, just call em siamese
been outa this site for so long i've lost dickridin
but some things just dont change, crazypatients biting
but im the original shit, straight out the jungle like an animal
eatin the game up, call me a fuckin cannibal
get the fuck out new-b's, go back to school
cuz all those dicks in ur mouth r causin u to drool
but the vets got all the flow, got all the rep
but they cant say the words when its me, kinda like strep
ur a cheerleada wit pep, but i get paid
but ur hair in a braid and let the football team give u aids
im tired, its only 8 in the mornin, im not ready
cuz the flow of my hand on my dick still isnt steady

hahaha i jus' wrote that to give myself a laugh. watcha all think

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

yo guyz peep this. tell me watcha think

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

It Was Aight. And You Ain't The Illest 14 Year Old. Believe That! Work On Everything Because It Wasn't Great.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

hmmm...
flow and rhymes were aight
you had a couple off multi's and shit...
your wordplay sucked...
not dope at all
5/10

was okie...keep elqavtin an actually try an think before you put it up may help your script...peep myn word yet unrevealed...and...Made You Vision Blood ...1

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

that was ok homie, i thought it could have been alot better wit more thought put into it, but its still not bad, try and elevate a little more on ur vocab and wordplay, and try and think of a better topic to write about, u got potential, u just gotta develop ur skills.

peace.......