Face in my hands/ my heart on my sleeve/
the most important organ left open, so all can see that part of me bleed/
my face in my hands, i hide in my palms/
tears fall trapped, i wanna scream, but sink in the darkness that calms/
love is lost/ now the lonliness calls/ for me/
nightmares are my memories/ anything with you and me/
sweet dreams i do tend to see/ anything with you and me/
time moved us apart, ending/ anything with you and me/
you and me, You And Me, YOU AND ME- echoes get louder which is reversed/
repeatin all through my head, resounding makin it worse/
is it worth/ all this struggle and trouble/ you takin over my thoughts/
i don't know if im in love with you or not/
face in my hands, facin the facts/ exactly where i lose control at?/ tracin it back/ pacing my tracks/
you said "hello", I said "i do", my mind wandering, losing me, leading me, guiding me astray from my path/
away from my grasp/ the hold i had on all of my past/
on all reality/ falacy/ overtook in a flash/
face in my hands/ soul in an uproar/
chasin the man, while hes tearin my up more/
images i conjure/ urge me just to get up and leave/
but its not an option, you got my heart on a leash/
a part of my sees/ a girl thats naive/ livin in dreams/
but the other sees a hopeful that was duped and decieved/
victim of robbery/ burglary came by forced entry/ one injury/
i swore i wouldn't be the one, but in the end, of course its me/
call the police- i been had/ call the ambulance- i hurt so bad/
cupid missed me shootin, so I was stabbed/
damn. face in my hands, shakin my head/
could i have had a love? i don't know, its wasted instead/
layin in bed/ the times we shared replay in my head/
never ceasin/ just repeatin/ till the day that im dead/
i should be used to this/ this times not exclusive its/
like each time the smoothness hits/ tears me up in two, then splits/
sick of bein used and betrayed/ abused and afraid/
sweepin up my bits of attraction/ the reaction/ to hurt a man made/
a hand came/ and washed my worries away/
it brought to life, a love i wanted, that was burried away/
the same hand ripped out my heart, for that, im blamin this man/
for havin me dwellin in sorrow, with my face in my hands/

I want to work on the ending the most, so any suggestions? and overall opinions on what else i need to work on, good things, etc??? HOLLA

some feedback?

that was pretty ill.Alot of true shit peeps can relate to.
Real.

thanks tko......lookin for more??

REALISTIC EMOTION YOU CAN TAP A PERSONS PSYCHIE AND WORK A THOUGHT ANYONE CAN RELATE TO THAT WAS ILL

yeah there was alot of emotion involved....and the flow was there...so keep it up

thanks for the feedback.....still uppin

I liked this emotional joint right here man. Shit was ill. Decent lines u had. Keep droppin man. I wanna see more shit from u. Peace.

good lookin man thanks.....still lookin for more

dont sleep yall, im tryin to improve!

UPPIN

why dont yall reply man....quit sleepin

This was nice... good emotion and imagery displayed in this piece...

yeah this was a tight drop, liked the structure, not my style, but yeah good and thought you used your vocab well, all in all nice drop........keep spittin................

can you hit this little sumthin............
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=86549#