you wanna go, but i say no. then u say,"yo, now i'm losin hope."
that's when u know that i'm gonna go-
outta control, an' cut yer throat
then u start to moap, so i take the soap,
shove it down yer throat, make ya choke, an' toss you into my boat, then i make it home an' throw you into a hole-
and after that, that's when u're known- to stay where tha hell yer thrown, an' be all alone, untill i'm gone,
into tha night, while yer thinkin I've
got no right, here to take yer life-
yer boys are kind, but they don't abide-
by the rules different schools try-
and don't apply their simplistic minds
they're so siblime, when they try to rhyme-
they hear your lines, but they steal mine
I feel fine, but i need some time-
to re-wind, and to de-cide
what to do, if u weren't alive
if you'd a died when u tried to fly
offa that SKYscraper in the sky
and u said bye to the ppl who
wished that they could say bye to you
and you knew i wuz gonna do
evryTHING that i tried to do
i lied to u, but confide in u
evry time that i write of u
i gotta choice; gotta make it soon-
and gotta voice my opinion, too-
i got a pis-tol, and i choose
not tah shoot you, but to use
mah fuckin miss-le, an' make a BOOM
and make sure yer brains leave tha room!

i was angry when i wrote this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but anywayz, go head n give some feedback ... i'd really apreciate it.
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I love it. The words relfect the fact that your were angry and as I was readin this I had the music to 'go to sleep' in my head and every word fitted. I cant think of how you could of made it better so 10/10. Well done.....check out my piece 'Mom I'm sorry'

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

hmm....
Alright..
Your vocab was low, but seein how you were just lettin stress go, thats fine. Your flow was actually really good, i followed it very well. I dunno if i enjoyed reading this or not, haha, i guess i'd have to be in a bad mood to really enjoy this. I've heard the song, and you go along with it pretty good. Just up your vocab and you'll be allset.

Overall- 8/10

uppin for replies!
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