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Old 12-09-03, 12:40 AM   #1
Dil J
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quick 14 lines tell me what you think

IP: 6252 1D5E

Your lyrics lack the eloquence of musical ability
this is a fucking rap battle and theres no hostility
when the DJ calls out for you as the next rapper
youll be in the back sittin and shittin the crapper
many people in the world question your lyrical comprehension
It's like I don't have to use my fists my rhymes create tension
No matter how broke i go ill never quit spitting
Even if i cant stop shittin and the rooms spinnin
But im a christian so this shits considered sinnin
so forgive me god ill get off this train to downtown
ill just go home , say my prayers and lay down
but before i do i must say you only follow me 'round
you have to steal your lyrics tho theyve never been sound
so get out of the way i cant lay down im headed for downtown

============
this is another version of my last freestyle tell me if its better and ya i know i sorta lose it in the middle but tell me everythin rong and good with it ... this is also on eminem.net sn: Krine_Sixty-Nine
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Old 12-09-03, 12:47 AM   #2
Menik
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted..

but this was pretty good here, enjoyed it....structure was better in this one...Your vocab in this was real nice i liked that, keep that up...flow was alright got off at some points but still good...could have used some multies in this i thought....but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Old 12-09-03, 12:48 AM   #3
Dil J
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Old 12-09-03, 03:36 AM   #4
Speek.E.Z.
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okay.. well then.. it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
keep spitting
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Old 12-09-03, 07:04 AM   #5
80SHOTS
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this was ok

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Quote:
Originally posted by Speek.E.Z.
...it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
keep spitting


i agree! but after you elevate, appreciate the help we gave you coz it will help you.
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Old 12-09-03, 08:22 AM   #6
the_insane_clown
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Quote:
Originally posted by Speek.E.Z.
okay.. well then.. it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
keep spitting



I agree.
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