hey, check this out, some of wat i was writin the other night tell me what i need to work on i havent written anythin in a while so tell me what i need to work on, its not a story or anythin i just write watever to try and get better wit words

them rhymes is shit on sticks compared to me/
lyrics will pull u from ya fake shit down to my reality/
and naturally,i see the only way for me to be free would be/
to take every emcee from bronx to long beach/
and not hesitate to show that i aint comin friendly/
My rhymes will bounce off the mic and burn ya hands/
the burnin liquid will eat at ya hands like the hanibal man/
ill beat u wit a dustpan till ya ears start bleeding/
blood will be so nasty ill call it anal leakage/
those "gangsta" rappers think they could rhyme u think im stupid/
they couldnt rhyme if their name was lucifer,behavior all elusive/
wit them stupid guns and ratchets/
ill be dammed if they come at me wit 2 automatics/
ill come at u with no suprises/show u i aint lyin/
i speak the truth/go against me ill bring ya face to my boot/
and shove it through the ground roots/
until the dirt clogs up into ya tooth/
u cant doubt this can cause an exodus/
have people wit slit,split wrists cuz they cant deal wit it/
ya mad cuz my rhymes is takin over u like the excorcist/
ya so embarrased ya face is gettin bloaded bigger then chris/

just some stupid shit, i still think its kind of simple,and would like someone to tell me wats wrong and wat was good and help me to elevate thanks
peace