i know you said you wrote this when you were high... do you go back and read it when you're not high.. and if so, do what do you think of it? Because honestly, I didn't really understand it, nor think it was too good. I think you have potential, but need to put more effort into it (i know when u high, u prolly just fuckin' around).. you rhymed chock with artichock.. and nation with masturbation with nation again.. i KNOW u can be more creative with your rhyming words than that..

i like that you show much emotion.. which is good.. but maybe you could tell us a story... like how u felt when u wanted to be high but couldn't... how u went about finally getting ur stash.. and how u felt afterwards.. u know? that woulda been interesting (to me, at least). anyways.. good job, keep it up. just put more effort into it. ~Osk

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my verse ---> <--- your verse