Voted For: Paranoid

concealed beneath my sorrows, its dark down here,
my deepest emotions, my body fluctuant with fear,
too basic nothing specila for an opener no imaggery
illuminate my soul, for God knows I crave deep for it,
eliminate the dark, for God knows I resent deep for it,
flow it basic no vocab i can already see that this wont be a special peice u diddnt get creative
my regurlarly unveiled darkness,..... now is revealed
hate, rage, despise, scorn.........shud be concealed,
again basic try and think outside the box
murderous and criminal animosity from a distressed youth
unmasking the imposture of a liar, to display the truth
ur best line in my opinion
a raw realness to the diction, "Lord is this all a test"
a clothed falseness, being stripped to an early death
ok line
THIS WAS WITHOUT DOUBT UR BEST LINE murderous and criminal animosity from a distressed youth OTHER THAN THIS LINE U CAME VERY BASIC I FEEL U DIDNT DO ANYTHING BESIDES WHAT U NEEDED TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS I GOT WVERY LITTLE IMAGERY WHEN I READ UR VOCAB IS VERY WEAK FAR TOO BASIC UR CHOICE OF DISPLAYING THE TOPIC WOULD BE THE FIRST TO COME TO MIND
OVERALL U NEED TO ELEVATE IN TOPICALS IN JSUT ABOUT EVERY ASPECT

It’s dark down here, such a place full of evil
So scary, I thought the devil was to pull people..
OK LINE NOT ALL THAT GREAT THOUGH
Down to the underworld, vampires and bats
Creepers from the streets with wires and rats
GOOD LINE UR MORE CREATIVE
Bound to kill, down to hound anyone’s space
Full of blood, dreamt a pound of such disgrace
GOOD LINE
Lethal personality’s, so vicious I was stopped
Evil mentality’s surrounded by a malicious crop
THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD LINE
Unable to fight it, flames engaged in death..
Which killed gods strength, was he caged in breath?
REALLY GOOD LINE
Pressured by a demon with a higher intelligence
No misconception, filled with such annoyance
GOOD LINE
Petrified by the dark, bleeding hearts diagnosed
Corrupted with fame, fought for parts of a morose
GOOD LINE NOT UR BEST
A ill humor, deafened by his planned scheme
I ask is this a dream? Only a crammed scream..
GOOD
Could bring light, so I was to fight on god’s side
The weakest would prevail with a odd pride
GOOD
Converted by the tormented, all missed attempts..
Diminished by the demented, a twisted contempt
GOOD
Glorified the pain, so much misery in the dark
Unable to embark, but a memory would lark..
MY FAVORITE LINE
Anything possible, if proven then easily killed
The devils imagination was so greasily thrilled
WASNT FEELING THIS ONE BUT OH WELL
And as that darkness died, god caught fresh air
A final destination, complete with the devils tear
OK LINE
OK UR VERSE ACTUALLY GAVE ME IMAGES ID SAY JSUT ABOUT EVERONE OF UR LINES WERE BETTER THAN HIS BEST WITH THE ACCEPTION OF A FEW UR VOCAB WAS MUCH BETTTER U WENT WITH THE SAME THEME BUT URS WAS MORE CREATIVE AND OVER THE TOP


unmasking the imposture of a liar, to display the truth

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