HONESTLY? Ok, simple answers, without trying to give my own explanation to sort of get by the question.

1) Caught your girl in bed with your father (owned)
I'm still preparing for this to happen. Anyways, i'd ask if this was the first time she's fucked him, or if she's fucked him and then fucked me. If it happens to be the second one, well, she would die. My dad would get a high five either way.

2) You found out your religion was a complete lie
aint got religion, but i'll pretend I did. Ok, iunno, i'd just be like "*#(%(*%(*#^%(*#@(*^%(*@#^%( @ All the time I wasted in church for a complete lie when I coulda been doing something better"

3) You bumped into a friend of yours and got an erection, hense figuring out you're gay.
If I was gay, i'd go fuck a man

4) You woke up and found out everything you've ever "lived" was a dream
WHAT A GREAT DREAM Then i'd just go about my regular new life

5) You had a night on the town with me.
The next day you'd say something like "i'm never drinking again"

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