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Old 12-22-03, 04:04 PM   #1
kid donovan
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Its Called Daddy And Mommy (its A Little Twisted But Oh Well)

IP: CEF5 716F

Daddy and mommy love each other so much
a closed fist blow is Daddy's loving touch
they never do kiss but i know that they care
Mommy screams affectionatly as she is dragged by her hair

Daddy threatens the worst, I guess he loves her to death
Mommy loves him so much that she cant even catch her breath
or maybe that has to do his hands on her throat
Daddy is leaving again ill go get his coat

Mommy says she' be ready when that bastard comes back
she has a new toy nine, all of its black
oh yea, now we can play cops and robers oh what fun
wait here Mommy ill go grab my cap gun

Daddy returns and he slammed the door
"what are you going to do with that you stupid whore?"
they started with out me, Mommy shot twice
I always get to go first Mommy that wasnt nice

Now the real cops are here and they are taking Mommy away
I dont want you to leave, Mommy please will you stay
Daddy is really playing the part, he has a sheet over his head
he really knows how to act like he is dead

They will come back soon they always do
cause Mommy loves Daddy and Daddy loves Mommy too

Kevin Donovan
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Old 12-22-03, 04:17 PM   #2
Da NFamous
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This was an awesome piece man. Every line was impactful, this was poetry near its prime, the story unfolded in such a dark yet innocent way, much props, kevin, and btw weren't u here a while ago or am i insane? either way, dope drop, 1luv.
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Old 12-22-03, 04:30 PM   #3
Split-eyez
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powerful piece man
kinda dark but that's just the way I like it... really impressive work.
Keep droppin, hope to read more of this soon

resp
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Old 12-22-03, 04:47 PM   #4
Penskills
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..Very touching,powerful,emotional....etc...this was an excellently written piece...you obiviously put lot of thought in to in and you deserve lot of props for this piece...
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Old 12-22-03, 05:35 PM   #5
lil_roxy
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nice peice Kevin, you expressed how most kids dont understand mum and dad relationships and whats goin on. very stong peice. keep it up
peace ~roX~
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Old 12-22-03, 06:41 PM   #6
Phantasia
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Dang man that hit home so hard I think I might cry. I like the realness and the fact that it shows how innocent little children are when it comes to understanding adult behavior! Good work man!
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Old 12-23-03, 02:30 PM   #7
filed
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this really got your message across, strong and powerful!
i like the twist you gave this, with the kid's thoughts and all. it was nicely written, with tons of emotion. you did i good job showing your thoughts. was dark, but so real.

~Tera~
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