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12-18-03, 10:09 PM | #1 | |||||||
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sinking into reality(peep this)
IP: 785F 1F17
this was written by one of my good friends and i really wanted it to be shared and get some feedback its long but worth readin ..so give her sum advice this is the first time her shit has been shared..thanks...
do i love you or do i love the thought of you? i know weve been friends for awhile and that i know you like no other but are we ready to ruin that to be with each other? i mean, should i throw away everything for something so unsure? i really need you to help me see that you can give me so much more! if i let myself i could be so in love with you but when i start to let go, i think about the other boys and what they put me through will you do that to me..will you leave me scared and bare? i know that you told me you'd never, that youd always care right now im so confused 'God please help me understand!' im getting dizzy now and my feet aren't helping me stand thinking to myself 'why does it all come down to me?' so i feel myself slowly slipping into uncertainty i cant think, i cant see, i cant breathe i want to let go, to forget, to stop everything, oh please! slipping into nothing i feel someone's touch im afraid to look, afraid it might hurt too much but then i open my eyes and its you i see pulling me out of the darkness and setting me free you kiss me and hold me tightly in your arms i try to pull away, but whats the use. im already gone gone head over heels in love with you i love you more than ive ever loved anyone before i cant believe i said that as i feel myself sinking to the floor loves a crazy thing and im afraid to let go afraid that you'll tear my heart and wear it for show so ill crawl back into my ball and wait for the day when youre not just a thought but my reality -jharnelle randolf DO NOT SLEEP!!! THIS IS A GOOD PIECE give her the attention she deserves http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99747 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99732 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99792 thanks...
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my head is clouded with senseless doubt but this seems to be my only escape route so ill slither my way across the ground to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found ~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~ Last edited by blyndedsoul : 12-19-03 at 01:15 PM. |
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12-19-03, 01:13 PM | #2 | |||||||
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IP: DEA2 944C
uppin this is a nice piece..yall dont sleep
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my head is clouded with senseless doubt but this seems to be my only escape route so ill slither my way across the ground to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found ~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~ |
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12-21-03, 11:19 AM | #3 | |||||||
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IP: DEA2 944C
this has been looked at 20 times and no one has said shit yall come on give my girl some respect it aint a bad piece..
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my head is clouded with senseless doubt but this seems to be my only escape route so ill slither my way across the ground to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found ~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~ |
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12-23-03, 02:25 PM | #4 | |||||||
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IP: DEA2 944C
UPPIN...GIVE SUTTIN...
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my head is clouded with senseless doubt but this seems to be my only escape route so ill slither my way across the ground to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found ~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~ |
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12-23-03, 02:43 PM | #5 | |||||||
Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
yeah its getting kinda crazy getting one reply out of 25 views
wow, a piece so full of emotions and thoughts straight out of a head, and still sounds so good, that can be hard! shes a good writer with lots of talent. she did a great job getting out her feelings, thats half the struggle, but made it so you still wanted to read it, all the way throu. Lots of detail, and i dont feel like i miss a beat, everything was there, no blank spaces. vocab, structure and all that i just about forgot about because i was sucked into the story. it was a great read!!! check out my stuff ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven Last edited by filed : 12-23-03 at 02:48 PM. |
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12-25-03, 11:21 PM | #6 | |||||||
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IP: DEA2 944C
i figured i could give this one last chance...please say suttin anyhting to my girll..and thanks filed..
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my head is clouded with senseless doubt but this seems to be my only escape route so ill slither my way across the ground to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found ~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~ |
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