Replies:
(1)MP~Phasis
(2)YJ
Fuck Love
On The Inside I Feel Torn..Ready To Snap I Just Can't Take This Anymore..||
Tired Of Spending My Hard Earned Money On This Damn Whores..||
Chicks Dont Belive Me After I Say I Wont Commit Sin Or Do Wrong..||
All I Get is A Slap In The Face After Writting All These Love Songs..||
Tired Of The Same Shit..Qestion Do I Really Deserve This Drama?..||
Period Or Comma..I Wanna Die Walked Out On By My Baby Momma..||
Sometimes I Feel Like My Whole Life Is A Lie..Stuff Passes Me By..||
I Am At The End Of My Rope These Chicks Push Me To Sucide..||
No One Will Ever Give Me Advice So I Look To The Lord Above..||
I've Been Done Over So Many Times..But In The End I Say Fuck Love..||
I Just Dont Get Enough But People Say That I Deserve Alot Better..||
Tired Of Getting Turned Down Cause I Write Chicks Love Letters..||
Uppin This Shit

nice job. im only going to show you the bads, not goods:

bad:

vocab wasnt above average.
some lines didnt flow perfectly.
comma placement is essential to good flow. start using your commas better.

Yeah..Thanks For The Feedback - I'll Try Better On My Next Piece

I know how you feel jeff.....


So hows your rock band?

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wasnt terrible.

Flow was weak, vocab wasnt there
Structure stayed solid.. Meanin alil played
but still we all feelin u man..

6.5/10

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OG Status


My people skills are way better then yours, nigga..

I Quit The Rock Band Yana^..After I Figured Out I Coulden't Write A Rock Song..LOL
Thanks For The Feed

Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure was good in this i thought....you had alright flow, it could have been better i thought...try to up your vocab a bit....you had some lines in there that i could relate to like "Tired Of Spending My Hard Earned Money On This Damn Whores..||"....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

Thanks For The Love
Up

basically i agree with whats being said... flow was knocked.. vocab could be upp'd...the scheme was quite basic...work on using multis i think...but overall...not too bad..potential....pick a better topic tho,,,thats played a bit...but most are..lol...so...anyways keep at it....pZ....

Anymore?

it was aight, not bad, but make more rhymes and flows plus youve been here for only a month so its ok.

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Dont Underestimate^
Nice Record BTW

yo, dis ryme couldnt have been so tight. the flow sounds the illest in the theme towards love. you sure know how to explain your perspective on it/

a lil short, you need to up vocab and make flow better, tho i changed words while i was readin it and it flowed ok. some parts didnt seem right.. but overall was an ok piece

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