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01-17-04, 08:47 AM | #1 | |||||||
New to RB
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Enemies & Myself
IP: C400 C802
...speak my thoughts...
...prejudice gates often combine - leave me hangin like grapes on a vine - then i grip a mic - or sit and type - or sit and write - my mind sick of the fight - my temper slips and ignites - im tired of pretending - im tired of be friending - the fight never ending - not getting across the message i am sending - no matter how hard i try - it still tears apart my life - afraid of my chasin my dreams like the cars sick type - cruisin and loosin my youth - speakin the facts yet loosin the truth - loosin sight of what is real - holdin tight but cant grasp what i feel - i bare it all like the naked - dont care at all if i make it - stare all you want i can take it - i just cant take all the fakeness - and i am contemplatin why you wont listen - like hypocrits you lie and want forgiveness - please just hear me out - but the truth hurts so youll probly fear me now - but you wont understand - you wont try to be a man - and try to be a friend - i hope this puts a tear in your heart - i hope now you are aware of your heart - dont be pre judge quit your stares and your remarks... hook: 2x ...i just try to laugh it off...i just try until the end... ...but they cant grasp the talk...wont let the voice speak within... ...thoughts to myself... ...a clip of thoughts enters my mind - no doubt i drift in thoughts from time to time - but i try to remind myself bout trip of the real life - sometimes i feel i cant go on - dunno whats real and right from wrong - suicide enters my mind - open a drawer and grip on the knife - look in the mirror what is life - i only grow older in time - life only grows colder at night - what is the meanin - to life what is the reasonin - ask yourself why you keep on believin - just run away - the fun dont stay - life then begins to bore - my thoughts then decore - it anit over like what of the life of a whore - everyone goes through drama - whos the babies daddy and where is your drunk mama - please dont end my life with a period give me apause of a comma - i drown in my thoughts and the blood spills - i awake from my trans and put away the drugs and pills - who am i - who am i... hook: 2x ...i just try to laugh it off...i just try until the end... ...but they cant grasp the talk...wont let the voice speak within... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st verse... a message to those who will listen 2nd verse... thoughts and things i go through |
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01-17-04, 05:21 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: C400 C802
uppin...
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01-18-04, 06:37 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: C400 C802
uppin...
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01-25-04, 02:16 AM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 5C4B 9DFC
this wasnt that bad at all... you had some nice concepts... lyrically wasnt great, not many multies, but it had some decent vocab and it flowed.... but YOU NEED TO FIX UP YOUR STRUCTURE. PLEASE!!! this was practically impossible to read. make all your lines be just that... ONE LINE. not one long line then a short line beneath it... otherwise, keep dropping, you will elevate eventually...
6/10 |
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