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01-17-04, 01:27 PM | #1 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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Corrupted Visions:R.H.Y.M.E
IP: C1DA C961
xxx Question the function of one who Rhymes with no ultrior occupation To Resist Hesitation of Your Mental Elevation Relinquish Humiliation, commence Your Minds Emancipation Resucitation of Humanitys Yearn for More Education Redirect Hellish Years of Monotonous Enunciation Into Revelation, Hearts Yearn for Moral Excavation Bustas breaking barriers, overloading emcee infiltration Deeply into cultural preservation like I'm a preservative Conservative, ensuring all you cyber flowers have heard of it I rule like Ja, but I'm not murderous with my pertinence I'm so prolific my cursors cursin it, so ill that doctors nursin it So nice with acronyms, I get gassed like flatulence Then patent it, so sick they padded my walls with matresses And leave off the last S for satisfactory N's for needs improvement, afterwards my teachers would ask for me They replicate mass produced Penskills in third world factories Last man standing when teams tackle me, and when crews battle me Flattery gets you everywhere, just visualize and mentally compute it The most relative aspects and characteristics are 'beautiful' and 'stupid' Globally disputed standards but none apply when I vocalize The masses are unable to read your posts like faces exhibiting poker eyes Who got the royal flush? Blush as I call your bluff to the crowd Volume settings automatically redefine the slogan play it loud To rhyme or not to rhyme? The question answered post verse I'm a sucka emcee deterent, should've posted the warning first Surgeon Generals Warning: Elderly and pregnant proceed with caution Victims of overdose on lyrical precision diction occur more often Plant your feet in his direction, he leaves you in pediatric rehabilitation Haul dictionaries at your physical at full acceleration The Executive Branch blessed him with this occupation Sucka Emcee Deterent, when the alarm sounds step out of his station And prepare for annihilation and persecution of lyrical stealth The F.D.A. decrees, being a busta isn't good for your health Forget R,S,T, my most frequently used letters are F,U,C,K Fuck the fakers, fuck the haters, and fuck the lovers on V-Day Fuck nonexistent and unrecognizable recognition Fuck every mathematics I've been forced to take besides addition This is a reassertment of my lyrical and verbal capability It was after my birth, that the Chinese outlawed fertility Senility shadows the caverns of your skulls ingredients After my exhibition of stylistic 'en vogue' deviance Because you'll regret to recall pre Penskills incompetence and inequality The first male caucasian translation to break it down ebonically So call me Ebony...please peruse the undersigned: Residing Humbly Yours, Musically Enclined... I realize that it's Inclined, but sometimes you have to bend the rules a little.... Last edited by Penskills : 01-17-04 at 01:30 PM. |
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01-17-04, 09:04 PM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
..Fuckin uppin..
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01-17-04, 09:37 PM | #3 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
Stop uppin this..this should be READ!!!!..
This portion of the Broadcast was brought to you by:FUCK YOU REPLY! |
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01-18-04, 01:43 PM | #4 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 399E F0FD
..What the fuck????..No replies????
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01-19-04, 12:54 PM | #5 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
..This shit needs to be read!!!!
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01-19-04, 01:40 PM | #6 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 9DA7 8CB1
itz read itz shit
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01-19-04, 01:48 PM | #7 | |||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Quote:
... |
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01-19-04, 02:20 PM | #8 | ||||
Sane Scientist
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IP: 5728 EC92
Ok check it...
Ok your first paragraph was like wow..a Lot of vocabulary to express yourself.. To many ION endings though…good so far..and unique.. “Deeply into cultural preservation like I'm a preservative Conservative, ensuring all you cyber flowers have heard of it” Well done opener…well put you made me as the reader understand.. Deep for a liner.. “I'm so prolific my cursors cursin it, so ill that doctors nursin it So nice with acronyms, I get gassed like flatulence Then patent it, so sick they padded my walls with mattresses” A little miss spellings however nice metaphor and you kept flow.. “Flattery gets you everywhere, just visualize and mentally compute it The most relative aspects and characteristics are 'beautiful' and 'stupid' Globally disputed standards but none apply when I vocalize The masses are unable to read your posts like faces exhibiting poker eyes” Very ill with the illustration nice fam..nice scheme and flow.. Ok your whole piece was well done..interesting piece threw out..I have other qoutes but this board is acting slow I guess due to the reconstruction..very unique piece and all lines were well worded.. I don't know why heads sleep on pieces lihis...but yeah..great scripts.. peace.. |
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01-19-04, 03:04 PM | #9 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: E8A9 7A28
yo man a shit load of nice fuckin lines in this piece, very sickly ill use of vocab and wordplay although your first verse I thought had to many big words in it took away from the flow but as for the rest of it it was down. flow, multi's, wordplay, structure, and your rhyme scheme was really good lots of complexity. keep up bro peace.
peep my collab with yaz called "Stories of Old" and leave some feedback plz it's gettin slept on bad, thanx in advance.
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center> <center>Corrupted Visions</center> <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center> |
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01-19-04, 03:04 PM | #10 | |||||||
_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP: CF61 4449
very well written or should i say keyed... lots of vocab in there...
lot of ION endsing like said /\ but its all good rhymin them words so much could make emcees turn pale... lol nice job... reply to my open mics and battles...\/ in sig _-SyaNidal-_
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01-19-04, 03:14 PM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 7A38 2D7B
many quotables, packed with multis and complex vocab..your first stanza was the best to me..but thats just preference..it seems more..i dunno how to phrase it.. origional...more you!
*thinks stfu FanTa* LMAO dope... |
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01-19-04, 06:29 PM | #12 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 3EC9 2F38
yo man dis was dope an all, had sum line i liked
alot but da vocabulary seemed a little forced an ceribral, but overall it was fire
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Sumthin 2 Die 4 []D[][]V[][]D P I M P |
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01-20-04, 10:47 AM | #13 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
..thanks for the replies..Keep on coming..
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01-20-04, 01:26 PM | #14 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
think ya put to much vocab in it, as some othes have said, but with a bit of thinning out, rewording some of it... it would be good... a decent scheme and complexity.... yeah decent read... i few places could be improved.. but... any drop could be improved....
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01-24-04, 10:56 AM | #15 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 4CEF 0D91
Damn I liked your flow in this real good flow and nice punchlines
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