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Old 02-09-04, 04:17 PM   #16
Daz
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yes yes yes yes..............dope pen...story was nice never saw that ending comming either..i thought you were going for a more disease realted ending or some ish...however though it didnt end completely it was dope no doubt..im guessing the bold is the Cop speaking to the witness? if not oh well...thats how i wanna perceive it...still dope however...Very!.............nice imagery and shit..rough flow at times..but i guess thats the story
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Old 02-09-04, 04:26 PM   #17
Diverse
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this was a dope 3 parter, gimme more....ready to read some of your other shit....very intense drop...had me hangin onto the story very close....fuckin good as always
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Old 02-09-04, 04:41 PM   #18
FormulaMC
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Fuck You Pen. . Just Fuck You And Your Talent. . << What Most Are Thinking. LoL.

Very Nice Piece Again Man, Like Split Soul Said. . Scheme Changing Hampered The Flow A Bit But Your Always Dope Imagery Made Up For It. . Vocab Was Just Right, Not Overdone. . Story Telling. . This Is Your Strongest Point Along With Content. . You Have To Be One Of The Best Story Tellers On Are Bee. . Serious. . Your Consistency Is Also Unparalled. . Dope Drop After Dope Drop. . I Can't Wait Until You Fall Off So I Can Birade You. . Fucker. . Can't Wait For The Next Part. . Pz.
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Old 02-09-04, 05:43 PM   #19
Penskills
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FormulaMC
Fuck You Pen. . Just Fuck You And Your Talent. . << What Most Are Thinking. LoL.
. Pz.

^Dopey~~~~~~~~~~~
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Old 02-09-04, 05:50 PM   #20
Dev
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i though you handled this well.... but, im getting sick of YOU doing stories.... change your topic man... you do it well. so lets see ya do sumthin different.....k.... but nice as usual.... [but your still wack.wack. wack.]...
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Old 02-09-04, 06:19 PM   #21
Menik
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This was okay...
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Old 02-09-04, 07:15 PM   #22
fgee
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pretty dope kid
there were a few places where the flow went off but it was nice for the most part
imagery and suround setting was really dope
well laid out..
good original approach to a fairly played idea
managed to cram in alot of detail and bits that enhanced the story
props
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Old 02-15-04, 08:37 PM   #23
Penskills
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Uppin.....I'm currently working on the next installement to this...
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Old 02-16-04, 08:29 AM   #24
Ambitious
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some carzy shit here....is this true...to you...?.....cuz thats wack....
but none the less dope peice here man.....really enjoyed the read and it was very suspenseful.....kant wait for the next one.....
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