-This's How we'r gonna do this-

8 lines
no bullshit votes
blind spits, due by 5:20 LATEST

get at me

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yo what youy mean blind spits ya neva mentioned that
n i have different time to you
get back at me

aite then, blind spits like it dun matta who spit first, jus spit

and due 25 mins from now

-1-

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alright thats ok with me but
u spitting first then o what?

Fucka Bitch nigga, u mo of a bitch than Pamela Anderson
Ya couldnt Handle a Manican, say u Shittin? ya must be stain'n ya Pants-Agin
Ill sho u how to ride a Beat, gotta Crew? ill devide ya Fleet
All i gotta do to Wreck ya whole game is simply Tie ur Teeth
cuz all yall niggaz do is Bite, i pull triggaz while u recite
n Fuck u wiggaz, halfa ya bitch's actin black is really white
N i aint gotta write, Wit jus my Brainstorm i'll leave ur Brains-Torn
Like Lame-Porn, u've neva been hard, n bitch ull neva Change-Form

-1-

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tick tock times up....... spit anywayz jus hurry tha fuck up

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thinks his gangsta cus he got himself a sig
copy riting outlaw and alla sudden hes big?
Assumes hes a G cus hes got it sayin outlaw
ill cut up ya soft pussy flesh and eat it raw

actin black, really just a reformed member of the k k klan
this cat aint in it for the money, hes here for the dental plan,
a traditional buck toothed farmer straight of "A town",
where the only thing hes ever fucked, is the ground

you cant even lift a gun, who gun hire you as i hit man
the might be the end of the battle..but the war has just began
bitch

sz bout i being late
i just had two things goin onm at once
this aint my best but it will do
any ways lets get some votes in here

Hit-man definately won this one....flow and structure was better....punches hit alot harder...multi's and metaphors were better too....
<+>- try to stay away from one-liners all the time, throws off the flow, up the vocab
and work on punches....keep at it man

return the favor:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113431
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112839

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Feeble Minded

yo personnally i think that both verses were aight for newbs.
so both of you no matter who i vote for just keep elevating.

Hit man your verse was ok it had good punches but lacked a good flow. also next time try to aim the punches at the oppenent, your lines could of been about any one

<+> your verse alos had some good punches. i particularly enjoyed the lines about the dental plan. you punches atleast were directed to wards the oppenent. you verse also flowed better as i red it

both- try to improve punches and vocab, also think about sylables when you write. try not to use played shit(hit man)

Vote- <+> his did it fo me had me rolling in some parts

also tactix whats the piont of sayin who you thought won if ya cant actually vote

^^ lol thas a joke rite?

alright les see what i have to make a diss on.... well i got this <....... o and this >..... o, no no, wait this +

aite 1-1
peace

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lol man if i could change my name so u had sumin to work on i would
personally i think that verse was ok
n ane ways is out law ur crew or is it jus a sig

ha its strait i was jus tryin to prove a point- n Outlaws jus a sig, sumthin i found on google
put it on cuz i had a reward on me so sumtimes i go by Outlaw

-1-

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you part of any crew then or you jus goin solo ?