If reality is a nightmare, are we all just fooled by dreams?
Time duped us to believe, our journey leads to heaven, so it seems;
Two extremes, the rich, the poor, due to what? the hand of fate?
Tried to strangle me in all its glory,loved only to seeth with hate.
Hope sprang elate, a ray of light through curtained dark
Dove through the holy portals, the heat that bathed my heart
Torn and bleeding in the silence, struck by the devils evil dart
God departed from the desert, left no trace of caring mark,
A work of art, the human body at its best, prime condition,
Crime ambitions, putting the Bible to the test..you've guessed the rest,
A world that loathed beliefs, spited and smited every tell tale sign,
So that nothing they've achieved, they say, 'the world is mine'
Really, they are owned, jealous of the steam that made the air its only home.
Puppets, raised on strings for the entertainment of the Lords
That sit high, looking down, cherishing their thrones,
Rightly laugh and taunt at the foolish wars of men,
Swords and guns sweep the title, that came prior to the pen,
Intelligence, vanished from the scene, they walk and talk like idiots
Collisions in between, rare, to find one not affected by this war
Intellect intact, writing and speaking even more,
Flowering the world, in a blossom breathed in rhyme
And these we call the Legends, that collect and hold our time.
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eh heh..no replies...must be something i said..or not..hello..

Hey Zee..
This piece was really well written, I was impressed..You have definately elevated, you were always good, but this is one of the best I've seen from you..Great flow and even some multi's in there..The piece was all around scattered with nice use of various literary techniques..content was very original and imaginitve..imagery was real nice..these were my favorite lines:

"Hope sprang elate, a ray of light through curtained dark
Dove through the holy portals, the heat that bathed my heart
Torn and bleeding in the silence, struck by the devils evil dart
God departed from the desert, left no trace of caring mark"

And also the last two lines..Nice job gyrl..Keep writin' and stay up
Pz

thanks, your replies mean a lot to me. You really know what your talking about.makes me feel..legendary almost...

LMAO

thanks, anyone else wanna drop a reply, feel free.

hey this was a great peice. the words were so well chosen. the topic was a reely gud 1 that alot of people choose but i havnt seen any as gud as this, the vocab was gud, and the imagery excellent!!

........fav part........

God departed from the desert, left no trace of caring mark,
A work of art, the human body at its best, prime condition,
Crime ambitions, putting the Bible to the test..you've guessed the rest,
A world that loathed beliefs, spited and smited every tell tale sign,
So that nothing they've achieved, they say, 'the world is mine'

keep droppin
return tha favor
( me amabu and where i go )
....bless

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this was a coo piece...i liked the vocab u put in here....helped up the imagry an ish...ive neva read anythin from u befo but im glad i have...i enjoyed this piece...this part stuck out to me howeva:

Really, they are owned, jealous of the steam that made the air its only home.
Puppets, raised on strings for the entertainment of the Lords
That sit high, looking down, cherishing their thrones,

its a great bit...one suggestion i would make is juz kill the really...redundent...or somethin i unno it just seems to take somethin from it...but i love the emotions thrown out in here...

hope to read mo of ur work..plz return the favor

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