Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-15-04, 07:02 PM | #1 | |||
Even If U Like Me..Fuck U
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No More Mr. Nice Guy....
IP: 720E BB90
No more mister Nice-Guy, my whole life-I
been smilin' when I felt like wildin' - Will Smith "Don't say nothin'' We're all monsters, Frankenstein is the environment we live in Our viciousness depends on the amount bullshit we are given From birth, I walked the earth in a perpetual state of mirth cursed with the inability to curse when situations got worse like they always do. I hid my feelings beneath the sleeves of my shirt. The self inflicted wounds from vicious moods denounced by my church some had said that I was posessed by an evil demon of good-will, that made me laugh till I looked-ill and my heart stood-still. Y'see...everyone has to succumb to the pain sometimes.. I held the worry lines behind smiles, keeping the rage confined! Now I twitch in my sleep and my heart skips a beat when I breathe! My muscles bubble under my skin and my teeth constantly bleed! Fuck it, I've had it! I'm sick and tired of having walkin' bad dreams! And dangerous relapses, flashin' back to hauntingly sad scenes! I'll black out when I'm drivin' and flash back to the time! When that kid spat in my eye and rammed his pen through the crack of my spine! If he had penetrated any further, it would've been murder Obituary page: Some lil' bitch that nobody's ever heard of... and I just smiled, resigned in my own pathetic mental demise Went home and cried to the shadows and scratched blood from my eyes! It's time for assholes to pay the piper, this venomous viper was born from situations more flammable than that shit-in-a lighter I gave birth to the madness, cause I learned you can't hold it in... You can try, but the methods of c-section fold limbs and erode the skin so with my current submission to violence, I keep ignorant bitches silent! Sticking hot needles in their ears, and screaming at them to be quiet! SHUT UP!!! You had your chance now it's my turn to scream... and re-word, in every verse, what I've discerned from my dreams! God IF YOU LOVE ME, JUST LET ME BE!! Overlook my soul’s discrepancy I "fell off" like leprosy, and I fear this evil is my destiny the only real way a lonely, homeless saint can leave a legacy. I screamed your name as loud as I could when the demons leapt at me... I tried to hold the anger in, but what more do you expect of me... where were you when they beat, stomped, robbed and molested me......... Exactly! Just let me give in to the dark side this one time and let me devour this bitches fingers and hide her body parts in mine! Let me take a hatchet, and match wits with bastards with fast lips "Split caps quick" like free agency, and lay in their ashes!! I'm tired of laughing and seeing someone else in the mirror when I pass it cause the man whose supposed to be their sleeps on a blood soaked mattress! He has missing teeth; bruises and the scratches on his back are massive! His face is covered in gashes and most of his hair has been ripped absent! That's me!! That's me...that's me on the inside... Cause once you've killed Dr. Jekel theirs no where else to hide when you're Hyde...I wake up again, twitching unconsciously in my eye Cursed with the curse of not being able to cry...forever the nice guy....
__________________
Your talent is God's gift to you.
What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Allegory -
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02-15-04, 07:13 PM | #2 | ||||
Eddy.
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IP: 77D5 6AAD
yea this was good, some nice flow and some cool wordplay, ..some inner rhyming, & multi usage..some double rhyming,
me me me as ending rhyme... I dont like that much but still , this was iite.. vocab was on place, were it fitted, ..good read =) nice concept man.. Pz.
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Fuck you |
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02-15-04, 07:17 PM | #3 | ||||
Banned: Double Voting
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IP: 6C47 FBC5
Cool Shit, I Thought This Was Gonna Be really
long but i didn`t take me that long to read once i caught the flow. a nice read... yep... Gh05t!!! |
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02-15-04, 07:18 PM | #4 | |||
Mona Lisa.
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IP: 9E53 07A2
yup nice piece.
Flow was nice here & ya Vocab like Eddy said was def on point I liked ya piece here coz ya came good in the story n gave it and original depth which i was feeling. I actually like the Me,me ,me thang. Overall a well thought out piece props n keep bein consistent
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"Woop Woop, its the sound of da police"
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02-15-04, 07:38 PM | #5 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 92E6 7769
Yo...that shit was tight, it jus' kept flowin' i liked it a lot....keep it comin'...peace....
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Knowledge Is King |
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02-15-04, 09:13 PM | #6 | ||||||
Help
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IP: 51E4 E42F
Let me see here.
NICE Flow-Very nice, read it through easily without messing up. Structure-Not bad, goes along with the Open Mic. Vocab-Alos fitted into this very nice, good use and you showed an understanding of it unlike some people. NOT NICE Well try not to CAP or "" tihngs, I mean it may fit in with what your spitten but it looks more persentable without thme, same goes with the structure. Overal this was a pretty good peice, keep up the good work mna. NMMNG=Nice
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<center>Soloist Artist's Artifact Look Into My Eye's<center> |
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02-15-04, 10:21 PM | #7 | |||
Even If U Like Me..Fuck U
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IP: 720E BB90
Thanx...Uppin...
yep...HoLLa.... Gh05t!....
__________________
Your talent is God's gift to you.
What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Allegory -
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02-15-04, 11:05 PM | #8 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 6236 079F
Very nice piece - tight rhymes and flow - good vocab level - used your words to make me feel what you feel. So once again very nice. Just thought I point out too that technically the rhyme is:
leapt at me... expect of me... molested me so it's not really repetitive at all. Hit something in my sig - preferably Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet. |
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