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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-15-04, 12:31 AM
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#1
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Guest
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Self Belif
IP: 38AE AB02
Self Belife
Born a long time ago - in a happy upbringing as a child enjoyed the outdoors- the birds singing Only eights years old- when hes life took a twist he woke up one morning...unable to move his wrist.. he played it off. as pain that subsides.. than one morning he woke up unable to feel his thigts takes to hospital... doctors measured his size... they needed a comftable wheal-chair.. he was paralyse... It means not having the outdoors... and only eight.. not looking at statistics... he belived he controled his fate " when will i walk again"... he asked him mama... " one day soon" she would answer not to cause drama... The hope was always there for this little boy.. But as times passes. he's whealchair was he's permenant toy He stilled belived. and he tried so hard.. he belived he would walk a million miles.. if he could walk a yard One morning .. he woke up again... in his special bed Instinctly he tried to lift his arm to scrach his head... It didnt move... but he knew it was there.... he never stoped beliving... that eventually he would get there 80% paralized... the chances were slim... hope always high he wouldnt give up ... till the day he died.. Never losing hope... one morning woke up and lifted my arm I always knew i would you see.... thats why i remained calm.. In a year i was 0%.. paralised... doctors couldnt belive it...like all along it was a lie..... Newspapers asked how.... I didnt even understand..... I always knew i was gonna walk.. why is it hard to comprahend |
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02-15-04, 01:40 AM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: 5043 32F4
i like the story, it was present throughout the whole song, the imagery was pretty good, a couple of nice metas "He stilled belived. and he tried so hard..
he belived he would walk a million miles.. if he could walk a yard"<---one imparticular. spelling could of used a little work..interesting story with a consistent flow nice job...keep it up...post an honest vote on my battles...i want them closed http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112928 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113431 |
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02-15-04, 02:22 AM
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#3
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Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: A560 AB42
yeah...this was coo..
good story...but the narration was kinda weak... coulda been a bit more interestingly put.. vocab kinda basic as well..your transitions from bar to bar coulda been put together more smoothly besides taht...this is a solid peace... please peep my open mic...its in my sig..late |
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02-15-04, 04:03 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 6B14 EBF1
thanks guys.. . and uppin for some more
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02-15-04, 04:33 AM
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#5
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Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: A560 AB42
yo..go peep the link in my sig...peace
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02-15-04, 04:41 AM
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#6
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Flyweight
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IP: 8C7D 8E52
yo this was a pretty easy read the flow was off at some points but that did take away from the content and the level of emotion the shit was hot tho
if you could peep my shit as well (that's life)
__________________
shut the fuck up even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun dead in middle of little of little italy little did we know that we riddle some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun |
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02-16-04, 05:23 AM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: 96F9 1FA5
uppin
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02-16-04, 07:18 AM
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#8
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
thought this was good in some ways, but let down in others... the way you dont it, didnt seem very well worded and the rhyming wasnt too smooth, but the concept was good... jus a bit sloppy in the execution,, but all in all it was still worth the read,,,, keep dropp'n em......
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