Replied 2:
Split - I can't have her...
SyaNidal - Tragic death
Syanidal - Tragic death(II)

YJ: Just my Thoughts

(Verse 1)
this rap shit
got me feeling stressed I'm writing my own rhymes
as a youngester I'd 4eva be on them phone lines
I'm thinkin of a beautiful lady thats far away
she would later be snuggled up wit that nigga Young J
but that will be tha day
when I smile, feel loved which I once felt at birth
at times I wish I was taken off this earth
its war between poor and rich, religion and oil
I'm trapped, my anger blows me from this kitchen foil
I'm that young seed who's yet to grow from this black soil
my parents are mid class, I'm dead broke, far from royal
Money...isn't everything, gotta have my homies
my chick and my peers that I grew up wit(that know me)
My thoughts on war...A game out 4 our brothers and money
young soldiers taken away from there mothers and honeys
babies wit no daddy, just a mother and a child
war is killin the male gender like wild
Women...thats God's most prescious creation
the economy is bad in thee nation
US and Korea theres no relation
Theres been changes in my life but its slowly pacing
I stare in the mirror asking "who am I facing?"
A nigga lookin depressed with endless acme
always tryna get these ladies to get at me
never focusing on my books, which I need tha most
to sucessed in life, my looks, skin color is dark toast
but I feel bright under my own skin complexion
I got goals on paper so I keep checkin
people always judge by the look instead of tha inside
just look a little deep, I may look mean but you decide
my niggaz never let your women change us
or your homeboy will see you as a stranger
fame will collapse when you lose sumbody you been with
standin tall/(twin tower)
its gonna be impossible to gain wat you lost
once you fall/
and I did what Hova did but
I couldn't bounce up like round ball/
as you can see I have my thoughts written down online
and I won't let family or friends stop my shine
I express my feelings and I speak from tha mind
I sit down and try this rap shit from time 2 time
even if my day starts out boring, I bump sum stillmatic
just 5 years ago I was a DragonballZ Fanatic
I have potential and I'm tryna go beyond that
and leave the competetion and tha hataz gone flat
now I'm bumpin sum Me against the world and Nas' Lost Tapes
just tryna study tha structure and see if it can shape
my skillz, something parallel so it will never touch
All Eyez on Me and Blueprint 1 I don't bump that much
but I will...I'm tryna do better than the Reasonable Doubt
3 of tha greatest rappers...okay, 50 bars and I'm out

(outro)
Its Just my thoughts at the time ya know

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

ok piece - I can't decide whether I liked the randomness of your thoughts as a picture of your mind or if you should've stuck more to one topic. Flow was pretty good - maybe a little work but it was nice mostly. Vocab was ok but could use some elevation. I think you should of ended this piece a little sooner - looked like you were running out of thoughts towards the end. If you're reaching for a line count but aren't really feeling anything at the time, just wait until you think of something else to say - filler really kills a piece. Ok piece overall - hit something in my sig - preferably Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't already.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

thanks uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

uppin

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga

Not liking this.A bit weird?

__________________
Have We Met Before?

Acro Nim

okay

__________________
BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga