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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-17-04, 02:30 PM
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#1
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"The Eleete"
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Like A Phoenix Out Of The Ashes (Reborn)
IP: 0630 0104
Like A Phoenix Out Of The Ashes...(Reborn) Written By: ELEMENCE The End To A New Beginning... It explodes into flames, bringin its life to an end Burnin its body an soul in order to start up again Born from a single feather, out of the ashes it wakes Mistakes from a past life no longer apply in this state A soul reborn with a new identity now rises A different disguise, but the same entity behind the eyes The clear blue skies once again free for it to soar Ready to take upon the world as it did once before A new beginning, with no recollection of his past life Disintegrated in flames an reformulated in massed ice Its chemical imbalance, the essence of strange ELEMENCE Which range from unknown sources that hold any relevance Crystal-like feathers that deviate light like a prism Born witha burden, sworn to alleviate the pain from within em His talon grips the cliff as it looks upon the world One last glimpse, now ready, It's body it hurls Into the light which is once again unknown to him To start over anew, an once an for all get rid of his sin The Beginning To An End... |
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02-17-04, 02:39 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: D145 BA95
Yo! This was nice kid. And the fact that you used the Phoenix as your descriptive was dope! Prolly cause I declared to live this life day in and day out from now on just today! Nice. One
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Rev 12:11 - Use your voice...  
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02-17-04, 03:58 PM
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#3
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I Used To Pray
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IP: C981 E40F
nice peice....good vocab and discriptive of the pheonix....a topic like this was just used not to long ago tho....well good work man....
hit my peice up http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114704
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Corrupted Visions |
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02-17-04, 04:39 PM
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#4
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
thought ya scheme was good, with decent transitions for most.... except the line begining with 'a soul reborn' that was sloppy, ya just changed the rhyme to abrupt..... but like i say i liked the majority, nice level of rhyming, again tho one or two places the rhyming seemed a bit forced, jus a bit......jus giving ya some honest feed.... unlike most.... but i think this is far better than some ive read from you.... topic is a bit played out, but you hit it nice..... keep em coming..... lataz
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02-17-04, 05:00 PM
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#5
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New to RB
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IP: ABE7 8185
Thats some top lyrics. As im kinda new to this ball game their isn't much i can say apart from i liked it, a lot. Keep up the good work fella ! Peace.
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G. Sharp. "The Lyrical Miracle" |
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02-17-04, 05:42 PM
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#6
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New to RB
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IP: BC88 5A45
nice concept and solid flow..
keep spitting.. peace -1- |
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02-17-04, 05:52 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: 7733 7AF9
good piece. solid poetry drop...nice with words....flowed well......great imagery and appropriate vocabulary.
another piece about me  |
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02-17-04, 06:12 PM
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#8
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New to RB
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IP: EC0B 84C7
you know what this was pretty tight....i like how you used the phoenix as your reference....your lines were like poetry...."Crystal-like feathers that deviate light like a prism
Born witha burden, sworn to alleviate the pain from within em"....i like that one......it was kinda shakey at the very end though...."His talon grips the cliff as it looks upon the world One last glimpse, now ready, It's body it hurls"...it didnt quit flow......but this was still nice.......(RETURN THE FAVOR AND HIT A LINK IN MY SIG)
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 +ORION+ * BATTLES *
Last edited by ORION : 02-17-04 at 06:15 PM. |
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02-17-04, 06:45 PM
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#9
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New to RB
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IP: 5CB8 BDE0
is this peice about absolation of sins if so good peice i like how you compare the reborn of a phoneix to it good drop nice vocab lookin for more from ya
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02-17-04, 10:46 PM
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#10
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"The Eleete"
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IP: 41B0 4E7C
^^Thanks to all your Feedback^^
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02-17-04, 10:52 PM
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#11
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 61DA CDDE
Dope....you are getting better young grasshopper...^^
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02-17-04, 11:11 PM
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#12
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Flyweight
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IP: 5502 12A2
nice nice work...just dope all around...nice subject and nice portrayal...keep it up...1
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The only defintion that matters...  Word Definate N Slik Shadow Vs. PROOF N Teflon NO SHOW BITCHES : Hit_Man  #
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02-18-04, 01:32 AM
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#13
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PuRe AzN..
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IP: 8232 A2A8
this shit is dope.. yep dope.. u finnally proven yourself..lol good work really it had alot of emotion.. and it gave me pictures!!!
hit this up pleeez http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114649
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Nuff Said |
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