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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-07-04, 05:09 PM
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#1
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New to RB
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Eat Yer Brain Food
IP: 5015 E731
Hi there, this is a battle rap I put together and used against someone. I wondered if you guys could look it over and give me some feedback?
# say hello to the new born, they call me the street locksmith # people scared to step outta line, i got this place locked stiff # you just a rowdy ass she-gro with a mind like a bird brain # your head so light son, it envy the weight of my gold chain # on the street like "wait a second, is dey fwee bullets or fo'" # by the time your gun loaded "oh gawd, been shot, ain't bweathin no maw!" # this battle take less rounds then a tyson/woody allen showdown # verbally slaughter you then get you physically mowed down # now it's the world's favourite six-three on the brand new high roll # you just a has-been like 3rd place at last years American Idol # ya full of yourself like a Jenna Jameson solo-porno flick # carrying a 2-inch glock so it don't upstage the small-scale size of ya dick # screw this gangsta sh*t, i've decided i'm staying real # now best go eat some brain food, it looks like it could really use meal
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six-three # you put lyrics to beats people demand the instrumental #   "... WUT! ... WUT! ... A-YEY-YAH!" a day in the life of li'l jon |
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03-07-04, 07:48 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: C1DA C961
i think you have some potential-some tight lines some aight multis, but you need to work on your sylables, some of your lines are longer than others. keep it up though!
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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape! |
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