|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-15-04, 09:27 PM
|
#1
|
||||||
|
New to RB
|
My dreams of being high
IP: 3F95 0BC4
i thought about the title My dreams of being high when i was sober and wanted to get high and then i wrote this little poem while i was finally high.
high till i die smoke till i choke off this artichoke mastery of my sword smoke turns into chronic im getting high, off this, bubonic plague, spread, into tonic, mix with gin and you get gin & tonic im running like supersonic across the huked on phonic nation with my sword i'm a do my masturbation with my sword i'm a destroy the nation with my sword i'm a cut your ration with my sword with my sword GOOoOooOOooOOoOoOoOooooOOoD im a spit this into the mix im a spit, this into the mix i'll fucking break you off like a twix make you moan till you groan now your life force is dead now your giving me head now your now your fucking me dead on top of my bed till my sperm turns red now youve been fucked right before i ran amuck and gave your life force a nip/tuck cause everyone needs a little make up schwing schwing i just light the tip and then get cash on my lip damn sometimes my dick gets stiffed and sometimes my life force gets ripped damn i'm feelin lonely   |
||||||
|
|
08-16-04, 12:39 AM
|
#2
|
|||||||
|
Light Weight
|
IP: 28AD 5545
WORK ON YOUR STRUCTURE,,,of course we're all told that one,,
Any way you got the heart which is half the battle,,, so keep dropping them bombs,,,I want diss you,,,but incourage you to continue your quest on being the best,,,,God bless all....1
__________________
My level of battle is your problem. Not minds. So dont toss me till to you tried me. This is my ring. You cant box me. I'll drop rocky. I've climbed the mountain's Making all contenders obsolete. All you bitches is running like water fountain knocking me!! Defeat list Young Beezy out come:5-o Lost Battles:none out come none 
|
|||||||
|
|
|
08-16-04, 05:30 AM
|
#3
|
|||||||
|
~Mr. Punch-Lines~
|
IP: 5043 32F4
lol that was wack haha work on everything you made lol flow storyline vocab
|
|||||||
|
|
|
08-16-04, 11:22 AM
|
#4
|
|||||
|
New to RB
|
my $.02
IP: 4F4D D056
i know you said you wrote this when you were high... do you go back and read it when you're not high.. and if so, do what do you think of it? Because honestly, I didn't really understand it, nor think it was too good. I think you have potential, but need to put more effort into it (i know when u high, u prolly just fuckin' around).. you rhymed chock with artichock.. and nation with masturbation with nation again.. i KNOW u can be more creative with your rhyming words than that..
i like that you show much emotion.. which is good.. but maybe you could tell us a story... like how u felt when u wanted to be high but couldn't... how u went about finally getting ur stash.. and how u felt afterwards.. u know? that woulda been interesting (to me, at least). anyways.. good job, keep it up. just put more effort into it. ~Osk
__________________
my verse --->  <--- your verse
|
|||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
